Expelled: Extreme Failure Edition

Yes, it's been a while since I did an Expelled post. Got bored, didn't I? They weren't doing anything new and exciting, aside from failing spectacularly. But now, there's some fresh opportunity for fun at their expense.

Premise Media, the assclowns behind Expelled: the Flop, sent PZ Myers and other poor unfortunates on their mailing list an email that has to be seen to be believed:

BUT BEN STEIN NEEDS YOUR HELP…

Secular critics, atheist groups, and now the beloved Yoko Ono are black balling EXPELLED and trying to get it out of theaters.

Seriously. Go read the whole thing. PZ had the patience to present it in all its inane glory, complete with bizarre font changes and pathetic whining. I'm just going to sit back and laugh myself sick at the fact their piss-poor propaganda is flopping so badly they have to send out desperate pleas for rescue. "Ono! It's Ono, suing us for totally stealing John Lennon's stuff! The evilutionists and mean, nasty atheists are all against us! And we're totally lying about everything, but we think you're stupid enough to believe us anyway!"

Numbnuts.

All of their claims can be thoroughly debunked, but one in particular is too easy:

#5 in per screen box office ($3,000 per screen)
#9 overall, despite being on only half the screens of its competitors

Um. No.

TOTALS TO DATE

1. Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who! .... $147.9 million
2. 21 .. $ 75.8 million
3. Nim's Island ....... $39.0 million
4. The Forbidden Kingdom ............. $ 38.3 million
5. Prom Night ......... $ 38.1 million
6. Forgetting Sarah Marshall ......... $ 35.1 million
7. Baby Mama .......... $ 18.3 million
8. Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay ........ $ 14.6 million
9. 88 Minutes ......... $ 12.6 million
10. Deception .......... $ 2.2 million

Looks like Expelled got itself expelled from the Top Ten over the weekend. Where are they? Oh. 13th. Well, you know, 5, 9, 13, what's the difference?

I know what you're thinking. These blindingly stupid, morally depraved, terminally truth-challenged ass bandits deserve to be slapped across the face with a fish.

Funny you should mention it...