God Outraged Over Expelled!!

Earthquake in Illinois heralds divine wrath over release of Intelligent Design propumentary!

WEST SALEM, Illinois (AP) - An earthquake struck the U.S. state of Illinois early Friday, and it appeared to rival the strongest temblor ever recorded in the country's Midwest region.

[snip]

The quake, measuring 5.4 on the Richter scale, hit just before 4:37 a.m. (1037 GMT) and was centered 6 miles (10 kilometers) from West Salem, Illinois.

The jolts were felt in a region that included parts of the states of Indiana, Kentucky, Illinois, Missouri and Arkansas, according to the U.S. Geological Survey.

Its Web site said earthquakes seldom occur in the area, and that the largest recorded earthquake in the region - also a magnitude 5.4 - caused damage in southern Illinois in 1968.

Coincidence? I think not! Not on the very morning Expelled hit theaters! No, it's God's way of saying, "Oh, my Me, what do these IDiots think they're doing? In My name? You are so smited!"


George at Decrepit Old Fool reports, "Well I’ll be damned. It cracked my basement wall... It’s an old cinder-block wall and wasn’t in great shape to begin with, so while it can support a large load it can’t handle compression waves. Gives me a preview of what will happen if a big quake ever occurs."


Yes: this is God's preview of what will happen if another atrocity like Expelled is ever allowed to hit theaters.


How does this atheist know it's divine wrath and not the natural result of normal seismic activity along the New Madrid Seismic zone? God spoke to me!

"Dana," He said, brushing aside the minor quibble over my not believing He exists, "look at the reviews and tell Me I'm supposed to be happy about this. A lousy star and a half from TV Guide? An F from E! A D from BeliefNet? And - this is really insulting here - AND an F from the Ayn Rand Institute! Ayn Rand! What an insult!

"So I sent a little earthquake. You know, just a hint that maybe I'm not really happy here. Don't look at Me like that - I didn't hurt anyone, just a few bricks, I'm a lot different from the old days, you had to be firmer back then or they'd worship golden calves on you at the drop of a hat. But just look at the timing here. I sent them the earthquake at four in the morning - plenty of time to call off this travesty. If that wasn't a sign, I don't know what is. But did they listen? No! Do they ever listen? Of course not. Why do I bother? Forget them. They'll be facing a worse wrath than Mine soon anyway - they'll rue the day they crossed Yoko Ono. I'm for golf. Laters!"

Straight from God's mouth to your ears, my darlings!

So let the Expelled crew claim unilateral victory - as they will, since they're habitual liars. Let the DIsco dancers try to tapdance around Darwinism and try to declare it dead while it's dancing a lively jig with its evolutionary offspring. We have irreducible proof that God doesn't like them one little bit!