Happy Hour Discurso

Today's opining on the public discourse.

McCain's got serious issues. No, I'm not talking about all the previous issues - this one's new to me:

Don't try to pass a salt shaker to John McCain. He won't take it from your hand because it's bad luck.

The Arizona senator also won't throw a hat on a bed — it means death will soon visit the household — but he regularly carries 31 cents in lucky change in his pocket.

Now the presumptive Republican presidential nominee has converted his staff to his famously superstitious ways. Whenever anyone says something optimistic — especially about this fall's general election — a slew of staffers join him in knocking on wood.

You know, I'm sympathetic to a superstition or two - most of us pick up a few irrationalities, no matter how hard we try to curb it, but this is just fucking ridiculous. Go have a gander at the list Carpetbagger put together - it's staggering. And he's got all his staff chasing leprechauns. I think this country has quite enough problems without adding a President with this many superstitions, thanks very much.

Speaking of irrational actions, CNN has decided it needs another Bush lackey to round out its stable of Bush lackeys, Bush bootlickers, and inane talking heads:

Remember, conservative activists are convinced that CNN is unfriendly territory for Republicans. That is, except for all the ones the network keeps hiring. (via TP)

Frances Fragos Townsend will be announced tomorrow as a CNN contributor, joining former colleague Tony Snow. Townsend was assistant to the president for homeland security and counterterrorism and is a Yankee fan.

I’m almost surprised it’s taken this long. Townsend, Bush’s former chief terrorism adviser, joins Tony Snow (conservative), J.C. Watts (conservative), and William Bennett (conservative) on the news network that conservatives believe is biased against them.

The last we heard from Townsend, she was complaining that the Bush administration had been “crippled” because its officials are “worried about getting subpoenaed.” (Apparently, Townsend believes that Congress should go back to ignoring the administration’s scandalous, sometimes criminal, behavior, so that way the president and his aides would find it much easier to go about their business without the fear of accountability.)

Great job, CNN. I'm sure with that pedigree, she's be completely fair, balanced, and won't mindlessly repeat White House talking points at all.

Carpetbagger has achieved a perfect trifecta of stupid. I try not to make this All Carpetbagger All the Time, but it's hard to avoid when you've got McCain's superstitions, CNN's becoming the Conservative News Network, and Hillary Clinton acting the perfect fool:

After writing five posts in five days on the increasingly-ridiculous debate over a “gas-tax holiday,” I was prepared to let the subject go. Really, I was. The NYT had an interesting item about the role of the gas-tax idea within the broader context of Clinton’s and Obama’s economic perspectives, but I read it thinking, “Must … avoid … topic ….”

But this morning, Hillary Clinton effectively taunted me into yet another post. It’s really not my fault; it’s hers.

Hillary Clinton has just started doing an Indiana town-hall meeting being broadcast on ABC, and George Stephanopoulos asked her a direct question: Could she name a single economist who agrees with her support for the gas tax holiday?

Hillary sidestepped the question, and tried to use the complete dearth of expert
support for the idea to her advantage, pointing to it as proof that she’s on the side of ordinary folks against “elite opinion” — a phrase she used twice.

“I think we’ve been for the last seven years seeing a tremendous amount of government power and elite opinion behind policies that haven’t worked well for hard working Americans,” she said.

That banging sound you hear is me hitting my head against my desk.

That other sound like a coconut hitting a brick wall isn't an echo, it's my head hitting my desk, too. The sound immediately preceeding, the one that put you in mind of a watermelon getting dropped from a second-story window and hitting the sidewalk, that was my heart exploding at the shock of George Stephanopoulos asking a substantive policy question.

The sigh and the rustle of fabric is me rolling my sleeves up, because Hillary Clinton needs a good spanking.

"Elite opinion?" Nobody fucking agrees with you, the experts all think you're full of shit, so their opinions are suddenly elite? That's a dumbass motherfucker Republicon talking point, you snide little twit. That's the lie the Republicons like to throw around liberally when they're bullshitting the country and they know it. It's not fucking "elite opinion" that your little pet gas tax holiday is a horrible idea. It's not just the opinionated elites who say that: it's the bleedin' experts.

And maybe they're elite because they're expert, but that does not mean you disregard their opinions. Only stupid-ass motherfuckers without two neurons to rub together do inane shit like that. Women with actual brains are supposed to understand such nuances.

Are we clear? Good. Because my hand hurts, my head hurts, my heart hurts, and I need to go drink myself into oblivion.

Our political system: forcing us to choose from a selection of dumbshits since 1776.