Pathetic "Proofs" God Exists

PZ Myers gets some truly ridiculous email. He's got one now from a woman with 50 "proofs" of God's existence. A few hours on Talk Origins and other assorted sites would allow me to answer all 50 in great, exact and obliterating detail, but what with the potential FISA compromise bill, McCain's constant fuckery, a new Carnival of the Elitist Bastards I'm trying to man the June helm for, and research to do on more than one book, I haven't got time to answer such pathetic drivel. I'm just going to hit the highlights. If any of you are bored enough to take on the full list, by all means, have away.

And head on over to Pharyngula to see PZ's short, sharp retort to this mountain of drivel.

Right. Let's amuse ourselves a wee bit, shall we?

1. Whilst agreeing that random patterns occur naturally by chance, DNA however, consists of code, which requires a designer.

Here we go with another one confusing biology with computer science. That's the problem with metaphors and analogies: there's always someone who thinks that because a word like "code" is used, that means there's a computer code in a cell. What else can we expect from Biblical literalists, though, eh?

3. Try praying. What good is it when a mind is set to coincidence & disbelief regarding the positive outcome?

None. All you're talking about with prayer is pattern recognition, selective attention, and wishful thinking.

10. Why do many atheists shake their fists & spend so much time ranting & raving about something they don't believe in? If they are no more than a fizzled out battery at the end of the day, then why don't they spend their lives partying, or getting a hobby?! Why don't they leave this 'God nonsense' alone?

Nothing would make us happier if people like you would just shut the fuck up and stop trying to impose your magic sky daddy on the real world. We spend so much time "ranting and raving" about this bullshit because of you God-botherers.

25. Where do our moral values held within our conscience come from? If the atheist is right, why then would we care about what we did?! If there is no God, then we've no-one to be accountable to.

Why are you so morally bankrupt that you have to have a god to hold you accountable?

29. Look at the date/year on our calender - 2000 years ago since what? Our historical records (other than the Bible) record evidence of Jesus' existence.

The calendar is a social convention, you silly bitch. Ask the Jews or the Muslims what year it is, why don't you? I'd say ask the Mayans, but the Christians murdered their civilization.

30. Many people have died for their faith. Would they be prepared to do this for a lie?!

Many have. Lessee, off the top of my head: Jonestown, Heaven's Gate, Branch Davidians...

34. The evidence from liturature & historical studies claim that Biblical statements are reliable details of genuine events.

I suppose someone who can't spell "literature" also hasn't read many novels that base the story around real, verifiable places and events. If we went by your standards of proof, nearly every book I've read is literally true. Hooray, there really is a Lord Morpheus!

42. Albert Einstein said; "A legitimate conflict between science & religion cannot exist. Science without religion is lame; religion without science is blind".

And someone needs to go look up what Einstein meant by "religion." Hint: it wasn't anything that had a personal god in it.

50. Jesus Christ is either who he says he is, or he is the biggest con man history has ever known.

Or he didn't exist except as an embellished figure. Or he was mentally ill. Or you're absolutely right: he's a con. Be careful with your either/or statements: there are people who happily believe the "or."

The only thing this list convinced me of was it's better to be an atheist. I'm too old for the mental gymnastics one has to engage in to make God work. What's sad about this is, even the supposedly "sophisticated" arguments for God don't rise much above the intellectual level of this tripe.

And people wonder why I don't believe...

Update: Cousinavi has an eye-popping post up exploring yet more McCain fuckery. If this useless assclown gets elected, I am so leaving the United States.