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02 July, 2008

Bottom Ten

It should be no secret by now that I hate Bush and his regime of fuckwits, lunatics, evil asshats, and syncophants. The sad thing is, he's responsible for many of the good things in my life right now, because without his never-ending fuckery, I wouldn't have become a flaming-liberal, politically-active atheist with a blog and the best bunch of commenters this side of Pharyngula.

(Credit where due: thank you, President Bush, for pissing me off so badly. Now fuck off.)

I've met many, many people who were turned liberal by this abcess on the ass of America. Everyone who could possibly be budged left, he's budged. In fact, I often mistake conservatives for liberals these days because they're so incandescently enraged by Bush and his good buddy McSame. That leads to some comic moments, and shows me that there are some points of commonality between us and all but the most die-hard neocon microbrained lunatics.

Some of the reasons for the outrage differ - after all, we liberals didn't see our party hijacked and destroyed by this regime. No, we merely saw our party learn how to bend over, take it up the back passage without lubricant, and then beg for more. But there are many low points upon which liberals and conservatives alike agree.

I think most of those points are enumerated in Brad Reed's brilliant "The 10 Most Awesomely Bad Moments of the Bush Presidency," available now on Alternet. Let me give you a sample spoon's worth:

In a lot of ways, choosing the Bush administration's 10 greatest moments -- disastrous failures, all -- is about as pointless as picking out your 10 least favorite hemorrhoids: There are entirely too many of them, and taken together they all add up to a throbbing mass of pain. But unfortunately, history demands that we at least make the effort so that future generations will understand why we perform voodoo rituals cursing Bush's memory before we go to bed every night.

Narrowing down the Bush administration's various debacles to a mere 10 was no easy feat. In fact, I expect that many people will express dismay that their least favorite moment was left off the list. "How
could commuting Scooter Libby's sentence not even make the top 10??!!" I can hear some of you shrieking already. Well, I'll tell you. Essentially, I tried to rate each Bush disaster by two main criteria: its body count and its damage to the country's reputation. So while Bush's awkward
groping of German Chancellor Angela Merkel may be personally humiliating to everyone, it doesn't have the same heft as, say, the Iraq War.
Go on. You know you want to indulge. Get yourself a double-scoop of outrage with sprinkles.

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