Happy Hour Discurso

Today's opining on the public discourse.

Is there a point when the stupidity will reach such an extreme level so as to qualify as performance art? Can we hand out prizes? Should we go for trophies or ribbons? Because this is definitely award-winning stupid I'm seeing today.

We'll begin with the moment that almost split my forehead open banging it into the desk:

You've got to be kidding me.

Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee warned supporters Tuesday that the $828 billion stimulus package is "anti-religious."

In an e-mail that was also posted on his blog ahead of the Senate's passage, Huckabee wrote: "The dust is settling on the 'bipartisan' stimulus bill and one thing is clear: It is anti-religious."

The former Republican presidential candidate pointed to a provision in both the House and Senate versions banning higher education funds in the bill from being used on a "school or department of divinity."

"You would think the ACLU drafted this bill," Huckabee said. "For all of the talk about bipartisanship, this Congress is blatantly liberal."

Look, if Mike Huckabee doesn't like the stimulus bill, fine. But to tell people the legislation is "anti-religious" is just insane. Or, to put it another way, Huckabee is bearing false witness, which as he may have heard, is generally frowned upon.

Anti-religious. These people are fucking unbelievable. You know their arguments are hollow when they're having to play the poor, victimized Christian card.

But does Huckabee take first prize for stupid today? I'm not thinking so. Hard to believe, but there are people in the universe more stupid than Mike Huckabee:

During the campaign, Barack Obama made clear that he supports the Freedom of Choice Act and would like to sign it into law as president. The pro-choice piece of legislation would essentially “repeal the Federal Abortion Ban and other federal restrictions on abortion care, as well as codify the protections of Roe nationwide.” Today on the floor of the Missouri House during debate on the legislation, state Rep. Bryan Stevenson (R) compared it to the Civil War:

“What we are dealing with today is the greatest power grab by the federal government since the war of northern aggression,” Stevenson said, R-Webb City, referring what Southern states called the North’s attempt to end slavery in the 1860s.

The remark caused a sudden gasp heard throughout the House’s chamber.

Stevenson later apologized on the floor for any “offense” his comments caused. He was urged to do so by African-American Rep. Don Calloway (D), who pointed out that the Civil War helped abolish slavery and it was “inappropriate to refer to that war as the war of northern aggression.”

These fuckwits just have no clue. Not even a micro-clue. Seriously. Lawmakers should maybe sorta kinda understand that this kind of remark is beyond the pale. It would be roughly like referring to WWII as the "War of American aggression." Never mind the fact that Hitler was poised to impose fascism on all of Europe and murder every Jew, gay and Gypsy in sight. But fucktards like Stevenson don't really understand that other people may see the freeing of slaves as a humanitarian rather than an aggressive act.

I need several new words for "dumbass motherfucking fucktard."

Stupid network of the day is an easy choice, at least:

It's a good thing Fox News doesn't have any journalistic credibility, or this might be embarrassing.

During the February 10 edition of Fox News' Happening Now, co-host Jon Scott claimed that "the Senate is expected to pass the $838 billion stimulus plan -- its version of it, anyway. We thought we'd take a look back at the bill, how it was born, and how it grew, and grew, and grew." In tracking how and when the bill purportedly "grew," Scott referenced seven dates, as on-screen graphics cited various news sources from those time periods.

However, all of the sources and cost figures Scott cited, as well as the accompanying on-screen text, were also contained in a February 10 press release issued by the Senate Republican Communications Center. One on-screen graphic during the segment even repeated a typo from the GOP document, further confirming that Scott was simply reading from a Republican press release. The Fox News graphic and the GOP press release both claimed that a Wall Street Journal report that the stimulus package could reach "$775 billion over two years" was published on December 19, 2009 [emphasis added].

Fox News literally got the Republican press release this morning, and soon after, aired it as if it were news. It's one thing to take the party line on every issue, but when a news outlet starts running GOP press releases -- without even bothering to correct the party's typos -- you know the network has given up entirely on being taken seriously.

No kidding.

I would've plumped for Morning Joe as first-place stupid talk show, but it seems they're having a rare moment of insight:

As ThinkProgress has noted, MSNBC’s Morning Joe crew is helping lead the charge against Obama’s handling of the recovery package. But presented with the Gallup poll on the show this morning, Joe Scarborough quickly backtracked, admitting, “[P]erhaps we overanalyzed it, and we don’t know what we’re talking about”:

SCARBOROUGH: Chuck, it has been a difficult process. We’ve been very critical of the process. It seems sloppy. It seems that the White House has been off their game. … And then we see a poll like the Gallup Poll that came out yesterday that makes me think that perhaps we overanalyzed it, and we don’t know what we’re talking about. … Sixty-seven percent of Americans approve of Barack Obama’s handling of the economy.

Hold on to that thought, Joe. It's the only correct one you've had for quite some time.