Happy Hour Discurso

Today's opining on the public discourse.

Nothing happy about today, alas. I shall not torment you with the details. Suffice it to say, I'm not a bathroom blogger, and therefore today's offerings shall be short.

In the Media Clown category, we have Glenn Beck dishonoring Yom Kippur. Note to Beck: it's generally not a good idea to hijack one of the most sacred holidays of one of the most powerful religious groups for your own partisan political hackery.

Further note to Beck: you're a television personality, which means that little details like you praising the Wall Street bailout are on tape. Funny how you only developed a rabid hatred for bailouts when a Democrat took over the White House, innit? Oh, and playing the "I hate Bush for the bailouts" card at this late date in a lame bid to look bipartisan ain't gonna work for the same reason, you moron.

Speaking of bailouts, looks like the newspaper industry's after a few.

And speaking of newspapers, the Washington Post believes it hasn't bowed down to Beck enough. Pathetic.

Need a better laugh than that? Orly Taitz got dropped like a hot rock by the soldier she supposedly represents - and now wants us to believe that the letter firing her is a forgery. Oh, Orly, is there no comic depth you won't plumb?

Now that we're warmed up, let's spank some Cons, starting with the National Republican Senatorial Committee and Sen. John Cornyn. This shit's too good not to quote:

And yet rank-and-file Republicans continue to hear related claims.

Senate Republicans are mailing out a "survey" insinuating that the president's health care reform agenda includes the creation of a lottery system to determine who gets medical treatment and a quota system that based on race and age.

Written under the vague and non-partisan title of "U.S. Senate Health Care Task Force," the mailing, which includes a fundraising letter, was commissioned by the National Republican Senatorial Committee and passed to the Huffington Post by a Democratic source.

The latter, written over Sen. John Cornyn's (R-Texas) signature, suggests health care reform may lead to a "'lottery' system of determining who will get priority treatment." No such idea exists in reality. The same "survey" suggests there may be a "'quota' system" in which Americans' treatment may be limited "on the basis of race or age."

Cornyn's correspondence also warns that the federal government may pick who is "eligible" to receive certain medical procedures, pick your doctor for you, and penalize you for "choosing to see a private doctor."

Why are conservatives so terrified of government action? Why has it become so impossible to have an intelligent policy debate? Because we have letters like this one from people like John Cornyn.

Way to raise the discourse, there, Corny.

Sen. Orrin Hatch has offered an amendment to the Baucus Bullshit that, I shit you not, is intended to “add transition relief for the excise tax on high cost insurance plans for any State with a name the begins with the letter ‘U.’” ZOMG. The other Con amendments at that link aren't quite as ridiculous, but they certainly try.

Speaking of dumbshit Con amendment tricks, Sen. Lisa Murkowski's decided to offer an amendment to the Interior appropriations bill that would prohibit the EPA from regulating the majority of CO2 polluters. Seriously. These people are beyond shameless.

And their supporters are even more so. Note to "Values Voter" and Young America Foundation spokesman Jason Mattera: King David wasn't a Christian, and Michelle Malkin is not "hot."

No wonder I'm ill. And here I thought it was the usual hormone flux from Auntie Flow...

Speaking of the Values Voter summit, here's all you'll ever need to know about Mike Huckabee:

Huckabee was obviously a big hit, and really did play into the worldview of good versus evil. For example, he besmirched the very motives and patriotism of their political enemies, and of those who tell the the GOP to be less conservative and more moderate: "I'm not sure the center makes a whole lot of sense when it's coming from people who certainly don't have our interest, or our country's interest, at heart."

He becomes even more of an outrageous little shit every time he opens his mouth, doesn't he? No wonder the Values Voters love him.

And it's really pathetic when Mittens tries to keep up with Huck's batshit insanity.

Finally, in our Disgusting Corporation o' the Day segment, we have Humana fearmongering policy holders, basically telling them that if health care isn't defeated, they're all gonna die. And, they're engaging in a little light fraud on the side. Single payer, please.

Insert something pithy here. I'm too disgusted to think of good zingers.