Dumbfuckery du Jour

I've just spent several days scrubbing the house top to bottom, and my afternoon hauling bricks up the stairs before settling down to stain some boards (and, apparently, myself) so that I will, eventually, have nice outdoor shelves for my rocks.  It's 82 degrees.  There's not a cloud in the sky.  With all that, I'm just not up for heavy-duty Smack-o-Matic wielding.

Luckily, there's plenty o' shallow water in the Con end of the pool.  Let's go splash around a bit. 

ZOMG, news flash!  Vampires aren't good role models!

Periodically, conservative groups and activists decide to get worked up about what young people are reading and/or watching. The results tend to be pretty embarrassing. 

Perhaps the quintessential modern example was Jerry Falwell going after Tinky Winky the Teletubby, but that merely started a lengthy, larger campaign. One religious right group went after "Shrek." Another targeted "Shark Tale." James Dobson launched a broadside against SpongeBob SquarePants, while Fox News' Neil Cavuto perceived "Happy Feet" as political propaganda. The "Harry Potter" series has been targeted any number of times by conservatives complaining about witchcraft.

I guess it was only a matter of time before the Christian Coalition discovered Twilight.

Roberta Combs, president of the Christian Coalition of America, which called for a ban on the Potter series, says she's considering a similar campaign against Twilight because even though it's pro-abstinence, it's also pro-vampires.

She says vampires are definitely not good role models, and she blames Hollywood.

"We can let our voices be heard, and anytime you do that you have an effect one way or another," Combs says. "These Twilight books are very disturbing books for family values. Teen marriage is not the standard, but the part that is more troubling is the vampire. It's just not normal for young people to idolize a vampire."

Woman, where have you been?  From the 1800s onward, we've been drooling over Dracula.  My generation had the vampire Lestat (whom I idolized until he turned into a wanky, whiny, warbling wuss).  You can't visit the SF section without getting buried up to your neck (heh) in vampire books.  And after all those generations of vampires, you want to get your panties in a twist over sparklepyres?

Look, hate on Twilight because it's a vapid, unimaginative piece of shit, if you like.  Condemn it for it's cliches, despise it for its sparkling vampires (because fucking vampires shouldn't fucking sparkle, people).  Roll your eyes over it's rolf-worthy romance.  But for fuck's sake, a vampire who's stayed in high school for 500 fucking years isn't really a bad role model.  I mean, at least he's attending classes!

I never thought I'd do this, but I have to defend Twilight.  As awful as it is, it's not deserving of the right wing's wrath.  The kiddies wanna moon over pallid, sparkling freaks, let 'em moon over pallid, sparkling freaks.  At least it's a little more interesting than Sweet Valley High.

Steve's right.  These idiots have far too much time on their hands.