Your Friendly Neighborhood Fuckwit

They're training a future rocket scientist at the gas station where I get my smokage.

I go in today and ask for a carton of Camel Turkish Gold. I get this look from the newbie like I'd just requested a box for Schrödinger's cat - he had that blank, on-the-verge-of-laughing-at-something-he'd-never-heard-of-and-thought-was-a-joke expression people get when they're stupid but don't want to admit same. One of the long-timers hands him a carton. He looks down at the carton, then at me, like he can't believe what he's seeing. And then he taps his finger on the drawing of the Turkish city and says, "You know who you're supporting, don't you?"

Dana Hunter supports terrorism. Obviously. Look at the proof, man!

I know what my expression looked like just then. It's my "I can't believe you just said something that fucking retarded to a perfect stranger" face.

I'm not fast on my feet just after dragging my sorry ass out of bed and into my car for another day of torture at ye olde corporation, but after I'd picked my jaw up off the floor, gone through the can this fuckwit really be thinking that by buying Camel Turkish Gold cigarettes I'm supporting the terrorists? thought process, and decided that no, smacking him in the face with the carton while screaming "It's an American fucking company you fucking retard!" wasn't the optimum way of responding, I managed to come back with, "Turkey's an ally of the United States."

It depresses me that he looked so shocked. "Really?"

Yes. Really.

I think next time I'm out of smokes, I'm going to go in to replenish my stock wearing my hot pink salwar kameez, a headscarf, and 42lbs of dynamite. Just cuz.