06 November, 2009

Happy Hour Discurso

Today's opining on the public discourse.

Remember, remember the 5th of November, for it is the day that a few thousand die-hard Teabaggers rode into Washington, D.C. to make absolute asses of themselves.

They arrived for their astroturfing activities on buses thoughtfully provided by AFP:
Americans for Prosperity (AFP), the corporate front group founded in the 1980s by Koch Industries billionaire David Koch, worked closely with Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) to orchestrate the anti-health reform rally today. As ThinkProgress reported yesterday, AFP has been encouraging right-wing activists to board their buses — free of charge — to attend the rally. While AFP does not disclose all of its corporate donors, foundations controlled by David and Charles Koch provide millions in yearly funding, and David continues to chair the AFP foundation and preside over AFP’s annual convention.
They unfurled their Birther banners, their sociocommiefascist signs, and their anti-immigration screeds, apparently unaware that this rally was actually about health care.  A few of the offensive little shits got the memo in time to have whipped up one enormous sign comparing health care reform to the Holocaust in the most disgusting way possible.  You stay stupid, there, Teabaggers.

The Cons in Congress crazy enough to associate with rabid fucktards got up and made speeches full of sound and fury that signified only their ignorance of American history:
A variety of Republican leaders spoke on the steps of the Capitol today, addressing a crowd that local law enforcement officials put at around 4,000, all of whom gathered to rally against fixing the health care system. Some of the speakers, however, ran into a little trouble.

Take Rep. Todd Akin (R) of Missouri, for example. Akin, who's demonstrated more than once that he doesn't really know what he's talking about when it comes to health care policy, decided to devote his remarks to the subject of religion and American history. For some reason, Akin argued that the pilgrims gave the country "her first constitution," which doesn't make any sense.

Akin then proceeded to botch the Pledge of Allegiance, which is kind of pathetic.  I believe it was a Freudian slip, since the word he omitted was "indivisible."  Shows what he feels about America, doesn't it?
Almost as embarrassing was House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio), who decided to wave his pocket copy of the U.S. Constitution around. Boehner, with voice raised, pledged to "stand here with our Founding Fathers, who wrote in the pre-amble: 'We hold these truths to be self evident ..."

In our reality, that's the preamble to the Declaration of Independence, not the U.S. Constitution.

ZOMG.  These fuckwits lecture us on patriotism, and can't even get the simple details right. 

Rep. Paul Broun also gave a rousing speech.  It's an instant classic:

Fellow patriots, go tell your Congressman, you're not going to eat this rotten stinking fish that is -- Pelosi health care! We are going to put a stop sign in front of her steamroller of socialism! Go to it, patriots!

I'm sure that stop sign is going to be very effective, placed before a steamroller, there.  Everybody ready for some fish-paste sandwiches?

And apparently, some Teabagger speechifyers are stuck in the past:
The speaker was John Ratzenberger, a.k.a. Cliff Clavin (sigh). He told a tale that dripped with still-fresh resentment about how he was a techie building the stage at Woodstock — Woodstock! — when the rains came and the National Guard had to be called in to save the day. Clavin, still visibly angry, excoriated all the love children for bashing the military even as they relied on the military to save their precious, America-hating festival.

Clavin then drew a direct line from the sixties longhairs right to Nancy Pelosi and Obama, saying that our current leadership is culturally akin to “Wavy Gravy.” Gives you a strong sense of the cultural roots of today’s strain of angry, resentful Bachmannalia and Tea Party-ism. Are we really still fighting this battle?
 Some people are.  Some people apparently did too much LDS back in the 60s (thank you, Star Trek).

Michele Bachmann is becoming a national figure, leading the Teabag armies, to which the Dems say, "By all means:"

The Democratic National Committee released this statement today on the Capitol Hill Tea Party, which was organized and promoted by Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN):
"If the Republican party wants to make Michele Bachmann the voice of the party, that's more than fine with us. We'll help circulate the petition. But it is surprising that after Congressman-elect Owens won a special election by supporting the President's agenda in a New York district that hasn't elected a Democrat since Benjamin Harrison was President, that the Republican party would continue to allow itself to be led around by nose by the likes of Bachmann, Beck , Limbaugh, Palin and the rest of the extreme tea party crowd..."
Absolutely.  I'm starting to feel better and better about 2010, actually.  I just don't know if I can afford the popcorn required to truly appreciate the spectacle.

What's a demonstration without a few arrests?  It seems some of the Teabaggers don't realize that actually storming Congress rather than symbolically storming Congress could pose problems:
Looks like the demonstrators really are serious about storming the Congressional barricades.
A dozen people were arrested this afternoon in or just outside of Nancy Pelosi’s office, some for unlawful entry and others for disorderly conduct, the Capitol Police confirm, adding that some of the arrested were throwing papers around.

Four demonstrators were arrested for refusing to leave her office in the Canon House Office Building, and eight more were arrested for unlawful or disorderly conduct, Capitol Police spokesperson Kimberly Schneider tells our reporter, Amanda Erickson.

Update: Pelosi spokesperson Drew Hammill confirms that the demonstrators were Operation Rescue people and that they were shredding copies of the health care bill.

Ah, yes.  Operation Rescue.  Classy bunch, that.  Just who your movement needs to be associated with in order to establish credibility, gravitas, and all that, I'm sure.

 And before they start screaming "police state!", they may want to consider a) where your right to demonstrate ends and others' right to get their word done begins, and b) why the Capitol police might not want you running around loose inside the building:
This afternoon -- November 5 -- a date widely known as Guy Fawkes Night. (You know, "Remember, remember, the fifth of November.") In other words, Bachmann wants to rally right-wing activists, label them an "insurgency," and encourage them to roam the halls of Congress deliberately "scaring" members of Congress, on the infamous date that marks an attempt to blow up the Houses of Parliament.

From a security perspective, if Capitol Police aren't operating at a heightened state today, they're making a mistake.

From a political perspective, I wonder if Republican Party leaders are glad to see a right-wing, deranged lawmaker lead an angry far-right mob through the Capitol. Nothing says "American mainstream" like Bachmann and a confused horde shipped to D.C. by corporate lobbyists.

I'm sure that they'll be swallowing hard and squeaking about how wonderful all this Teabagging is.

In other political news, the Michael Steele of yesterday wants moderates to know they're welcome in the Con party.  The Michael Steele of today tells them they can all fuck off.

In a similar vein, yesterday's Dick Armey sez, "Local issues - bah!  Hoffman doesn't need local issues!"  Today's Dick Armey: "Hoffman shoulda paid attention to the locals."  What a maroon.

And speaking of Hoffman, guess who's gonna be fundraising for Cons?  NC Dems scream in delight:
As Tom Jensen of Public Policy Polling (D) reports:
I've been pretty sure the Republicans will get back control of the North Carolina legislature next year but now I'm not underestimating their chances to defeat themselves.

Just got an e-mail from the party that they're bringing in Doug Hoffman to speak at their Hall of Fame dinner in a couple weeks. The same Doug Hoffman of course who managed to blow a Congressional seat the party had held for over a century.

Next election season's gonna be awesome.


Woozle said...

"Clavin, still visibly angry, excoriated all the love children for bashing the military even as they relied on the military to save their precious, America-hating festival."

When did love children ever hate the military? From what I've been able to tell, they only ever hated war -- and the repeated stories of soldiers being spat on are complete right-wing myths, possibly started by a Sylvester Stallone movie.

Woozle said...

...also, can anyone find confirmation of this supposed military intervention at Woodstock? Wikipedia only mentions that: "On the morning of Sunday, August 17, New York Governor Nelson Rockefeller called festival organizer John Roberts and told him he was thinking of ordering 10,000 New York State National Guard troops to the festival. Roberts was successful in persuading Rockefeller not to do this."

Color me shocked if it turns out that Clavin's outrage is based on a solid core of errors, rather than just an error plus a misunderstanding. If that were so, I might have to, you know, start getting cynical about Con truthfulness -- a cruel blow indeed to my youthful innocent idealism about our dear ex-leaders. Whoever shall I place blind, unthinking faith in now?