The Party of Fail

A new classic in the annals of Con dumbfuckery:

One of the most absurd aspects of our culture these days is the non-apology apology. Here's a perfect example of one. A member of the Florida state Republican committee sent out an email to 8 people that said this:

From: Carol Carter Friday, January 30, 9:30 AM Subject: FW: Amazing!

I'm confused

How can 2,000,000 blacks get into Washington, DC in 1 day in sub zero temps when 200,000 couldn't get out of New Orleans in 85 degree temps with four days notice?

Carol Carter

Crude. Stupid. Racist. Yep, she's 3 for 3. Someone it was mailed to was rightly offended by it and sent it along to someone who apparently had some authority, which led to this classic non-apology:

From: Carol Carter January 30, 5:54 PM Subject: Earlier e-mail

I have been asked to send this apology for my earlier e-mail. I am sorry that it was received in a negative manner. I do hope that we are going to be allowed to keep our sense of humor.

As you can now see, it went to very few people. I did add Todd Marks in this apology, as he is in the mix now. I am also sorry to learn that some of these persons are not real team players. There really was no reason for this to go beyond those that I e-mailed (8 people). This was not an e-mail blast as I do not have that capability.

Carol

Let us deconstruct this classic Con thinking.

Firstly, the apology under protest. Carol, like most Cons (and serial killers, for that matter), sees nothing wrong with her racist buffoonery, and she's miffed that anyone would dare force her to apologize.

Secondly, the whining about how nobody laughs at a little racist humor anymore. Poor little victimized racist. The PC crowd is coming to take her sense of humor away.

Thirdly, the protest that this was only meant for a select few fellow racists, and how dare anyone broadcast the buffoonery for the world to condemn? The "some of these persons are not real team players" line is a particularly breathtaking example of that mentality.

Fourthly, the implication that it's not her fault this got out. How could it be when she doesn't have the capability to send mass racist emails to everyone all at once?

The whole thing is a monument to the Con inability to take responsibility for one's actions, which is rich, considering these fuckwits love to natter on about personal responsibility, moral hazard, and all that rot as they snatch the tattered remnants of the social safety net from under the poor.

Those of you who have been following Con fuckwittery for some time know that this is not an isolated example, but merely a particularly shining example of the Con penchant for seeing nothing at all wrong with their own racism and corruption. And Carol is hardly the first to perfect the art of the non-apologetic apology. Check this blast-from-the-past:

In 1996 Bob Herbert wrote:

One day last summer Representative John A. Boehner of Ohio, chairman of the House Republican Conference, decided to play Santa Claus. … In any event, Mr. Boehner took it upon himself to begin handing out money from tobacco lobbyists to certain of his colleagues on the House floor.

Boehner stopped handing out the checks only “after being questioned about the practice by two freshmen who’d heard about the handoff on the House floor” [Charleston Gazette, 5/11/96]

And what did Boehner have to say for himself?

In this 1996 documentary by PBS called "The People and the Power Game," John Boehner is caught red-handed in an amazing act of corruption, and his biggest critics are fellow Republicans.

Boehner: Mine asked me to give out a half dozen checks quickly before we got to the end of the month and I complied. I did it on the House floor which I regret and I should not have done, it's not a violation of the House rules, but it's a practice that's gone on here for a long time.

Translation: "Sure, I'm a corrupt, lying fuckwit, but hey, I'm the victim here! I mean, everybody was doing it! And it's sleazy as hell, but it's not technically a violation! They made me do it! I'm an innocent victim of the system! And I stopped as soon as I was caught!"

Yes, politicians fuck up and slime their way out of trouble all the time. Yes, Dems sometimes do it, too. But they've never perfected the art of being hypocritical douchebags a fraction as well as the Cons have. Nor are they quite so prolific. I don't know if anyone's every worked out the ratio of corrupt fucktards between the two parties, but I'm willing to bet it's better than 2:1.

And with her triple-Con-douchebaggery of hypocrisy, self-pitying whining, and racism, it looks like Carol will have quite the future ahead of her in today's Republicon party. They have truly become the party of Fail.