Happy Hour Discurso

Today's opining on the public discourse.

I'm sorry. I have to do it. The ongoing Palin disaster is increasingly incredible, and I haven't the strength or the will to look away.

I should be talking about the Senate's dubious decision to ram through a noxious bailout bill (ooo, let's include tax cuts for the wealthy! That'll help!). I should be talking about the new revelations in the attorney general firings (actually, I'll get to that later). But we're going to ease off and have some fun at Sarah Palin's expense.

Yes, I am not ashamed to pluck the low-hanging fruit.

Remember how Palin said that big, bad Putin was encroaching on U.S. airspace, and that made her all kinds of expert in foreign policy? Heh, well, you'll be astounded to learn this, but that's completely and totally fucking wrong:

The McCain-Palin campaign recently clarified Gov. Sarah Palin’s (R-AK) remark from last week that “Putin rears his head and comes into the airspace of the United States of America.” The campaign told CBS News, “Russian incursions…inside the air defense identification zone have occurred.” But as the Associated Press reports today, no such incursions have occurred ‘in
recent years’:

The air defense identification zone, almost completely over water, extends 12-mile past the perimeter of the United States. … However, no Russian military planes have been flying even into that zone, said Maj. Allen Herritage, a spokesman for the Alaska region of the North American Aerospace Defense Command, at Elmendorf Air Force Base. “To be very clear, there has not been any incursion in U.S. airspace in recent years,” Herritage said.

At this point, I think two things are clear. One, the McCain campaign is a bunch of rank amateurs when it comes to foreign policy. Two, they are not capable of telling the truth. Ever. Not even a little bit.

In light of this, you'll be interested to learn that McCain, the self-proclaimed leading expert in foreign policy, has a new foreign policy advisor. It is... Sarah Palin:

John McCain chatted with NPR this morning, and during the interview, the senator made a very odd remark about where he's turned for foreign policy advice.

NPR: Given what you've said, senator, is there an occasion where you could imagine turning to Gov. Palin for advice in a foreign policy crisis?

McCain: I've turned to her advice many times in the past. I can't imagine turning to Senator Obama or Senator Biden because they've been wrong. They were wrong about Iraq, wrong about Russia.

Obviously, this is silly. But more importantly, I don't think McCain appreciates how much this undermines his own campaign's message. For a year and a half, McCain, his aides, and his surrogates have insisted that McCain is an unrivaled expert when it comes to foreign policy and national security. It's a bogus claim -- McCain has been strikingly confused on international affairs throughout his campaign -- but it's been the principal selling point of McCain's candidacy from the outset.

Talking to NPR, however, McCain tried out an entirely new line -- he, the expert, turns to his novice running mate, who has no foreign policy experience at all, for advice. In fact, he's already done so "many times."

Excuse me? "Turned to her advice many times in the past"? What fucking past? What fucking advice? Is she the one who told you that Obama and Biden have been wrong about Iraq and Russia? If so, I'd stop fucking listening now. You see, Biden's foreign policy chops are a huge part of what got him on the ticket to begin with, and Obama's been so right on Iran that even Bush has had to step up and follow his lead. So, Johnny, if you wouldn't trust them, but you'd trust Sarah "I Can See Russia From Here!" Palin, there is something dramatically wrong with you.

Oh, wait. We already knew that. Nevermind.

McCain is turning to advice from a woman who can't even handle the media. Palin's incoherence in interviews has become so pronounced that the campaign announced it wouldn't allow any more "gotcha" journalism from those big meanies like Gibson and Couric. Now, they're going to stick with friendlier territory:

The Charlie Gibson interview didn't go well. The interviews with Katie Couric became legendary -- and not in a good way.

So, what will the McCain campaign do to get Sarah Palin's message out? There's a new plan.

Sarah Palin's interview Tuesday with conservative talker Hugh Hewitt gave the vice presidential candidate a chance to showcase elements of her life story and demonstrate some of the folksiness that's been central to her political success.

It's exactly the kind of interview that voters can expect to see from the governor in the coming weeks, according to a Palin adviser, who recognized that there is hunger in Republican circles and among the public at large to see a less-scripted, more authentic candidate. That means more comfortable settings like conservative talk radio, and fewer opportunities for Palin to stumble, as was the case with a pair of high-profile network interviews with ABC and CBS.

"We're going to be continue to put her in settings where she has an opportunity to shine, to be on offense," the adviser said. "We've gotten very good feedback from the public from Hugh Hewitt interview."

Ah, yes, the Hewitt interview. Hewitt, for those of you unfamiliar with his work, is a prominent Republican blogger and talk-show host. Andrew Sullivan recently named an award after him: "The Hewitt Award -- named after the absurd partisan fanatic, Hugh Hewitt, is given for the
most egregious attempts to label Barack Obama as un-American, alien, treasonous, and far out of the mainstream of American life and politics."

That's right. When you can't face up to the real(ish) journalists, run to the loving arms of the cons. That's showing some real confidence in your ability to face opposition. Riiight.

And, just so's you know, Sarah "Pit Bull" Palin doesn't need no stinking coaches:

On Monday, Sarah Palin told Katie Couric that voters are going to have to decide between "new energy" and "new ideas" on one side, or "many, many years in the Senate" on
the other. Obama vs. McCain? No, she was talking about Palin vs. Biden, seemingly unaware of the dynamic at the top of the ticket.

CBS just sent out a transcript from this morning's "Early Show," in which Palin touched on a very similar theme.

COURIC: I know you're heading to Sedona to work on your debate. What is your coach advising you?

PALIN: I don't have a debate coach.

COURIC: Well, what are your coaches?

PALIN: I have quite a few people who are giving us information about the record of Obama and Biden, and at the end of the day, though, it is -- it's so clear, again, what those choices are. Either new ideas, new energy and reform of Washington, DC, or more of the same.

First, if she doesn't have debate coaches, I'm the Heavyweight Champion of the World.

Second, and more importantly, Palin seems strikingly unaware of what this campaign is all about. As she sees it, John McCain represents "new ideas" and "new energy," while Barack Obama represents "more of the same."

Someone had better get Palin some coaches stat. Because she can't answer simple interview questions, and she has no fucking clue she's parroting Obama's lines about McCain.

What a total fuckwit. She makes me ashamed to possess two X chromosomes.