07 April, 2009

Ooo, Secret Mooslim Codes

I swear these fucktards have raised paranoia to an absurdist art form:

The right wing has been apoplectic over President Obama’s words and actions while in Europe. A large amount of their outrage has been over the fact that Obama briefly bowed to King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia.

Today on MSNBC, right-wing commentator Frank Gaffney joined in, boldly declaring, “I’m a member of Dick Cheney’s fan club,” alluding to the former vice president’s comments that Obama is making Americans less safe. Gaffney said that today, for example, Obama told our “Muslim enemies” that the United States is “willing to submit to them.”

When asked by MSNBC host David Shuster and Mother Jones’s David Corn for proof of this supposed submission, Gaffney pointed to a secret “code” Obama is using — which apparently only he, al Qaeda, the Saudis, and the Taliban understand:

CORN: Where in that speech does he say we’re going to submit to anybody?

GAFFNEY: I think what he is using is code — … When he uses the word “respect,” in the context of a waist-bow to the king of Saudi Arabia, for example, and talks about respectful language, which is code for those who adhere to Sharia that we will submit to Sharia. We will submit to the kind of program –

SHUSTER: We have to know the code? We all have to know the code to understand how we’re making ourselves more vulnerable? … David Corn was asking you for a specific example, and you’re referring to code. You’re referring to code!

GAFFNEY: I’m telling you the code as they receive it in the Taliban headquarters and in al Qaeda’s cave and in the kingdom of Saudi Arabia. They perceive this as submission.

The saddest part: this wasn't even on Faux News. But at least Shuster and Corn did a reasonable job spanking Gaffney for the babbling insanity.

This does make one thing abundantly clear: it's time for us to open a tinfoil hat shop, my darlings. We'll include a secret Muslim code decoder ring with each order. Looks like we'll have more business than we know what to do with.

Since there's no curing 'em, we might as well turn a profit from their paranoia.


Cujo359 said...

Only an idiot would assume we're going to submit to sharia law. Does Gaffney think these people are idiots?

lasthussar said...

I believe your (non God Chosen)head of State bowed to our (by the Grace of God, Defender of the Faith) Head of State- as etiquette demands. I for one welcome us as your British overlords. Now make mae a cup of tea, colonial wench.