Dumbfuckery du Jour

When Cons brag about outraising Dems, it pays to have a closer look at those magic numbers:

The National Republican Congressional Committee, which raises money to help put GOP butts in House seats, sent an email this week bragging in big red letters that it outraised its Democratic counterpart for the month of June. 

The NRCC raised about $9.15 million and the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee came in a close second with around $9.02 million. The difference: $138,000. 

The thing that put the NRCC over the top? A $500,000 settlement from the NRCC's insurance company, stemming from the years-long bilking of the NRCC by its former treasurer, Chris Ward. 

So it took an insurance settlement for them to "outraise" the DCCC.  And they're bragging about it.  That's actually pretty fucking pathetic.

Between that and the NRC's criminally cute accounting tricks, it seems to me that the national Cons have a few problems they don't want to admit to.  As the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, it looks like they will continue to be total fuckwits for the foreseeable future.  The shock is absolutely making my toes tingle.

Oh, wait, that's not it.  I'm sitting on my feet.  Perhaps I should allow circulation to return.  Hey, presto, the tingling is gone!

Anyway, while we're on the subject of people inflating their importance artificially, let's discuss the brand-new House Tea Party Caucus:

As for the caucus itself, as of late yesterday, the House Tea Party Caucus reportedly has 29 members, with a membership list that's nearly identical to that of the right-wing Republican Study Committee. There is, however, some ongoing controversy on this front -- some of the members included on Bachmann's list of caucus members hadn't formally given their permission to be included in the group.

Sounds like they're off to a good start.

True Cons, those.  We certainly wouldn't expect them any other way.

And, finally, Shep Smith has a few choice words on the Sherrod fiasco:

Meanwhile, Fox New anchor Shep Smith — whose network breathlessly promoted the smear campaign — slammed Breitbart’s BigGovernment.com as “widely discredited,” and blasted the White House for acting on its video. Smith even called out his own employer, saying, “The video, taken completely out of context, it ran all over the Internet, and television, including on this network:”

We here at Studio B did not run the video and did not reference the story in any way for many reasons, among them: we didn’t know who shot it, we didn’t know when it was shot, we didn’t know the context of the statement, and because of the history of the videos on the site where it was posted, in short we do not and did not trust the source. [...]

[The White House based its decision on] an edited videotape on a widely discredited website that has had inaccurate postings of videos in the past–edited to the point where the world was deceived. … What in the world has happened to our industry and the White House?

Well, y'see, Shep, your network kind of dragged the industry down by being loud, obnoxious, unprincipled partisan shits, and since they make money pandering to the right wing shit-bubbles-for-brains crowd, other networks decided they needed to chase after the right wing shit-bubbles-for-brains crowd, or at least that actual journalism cost too much money when you could just have a lot of shit-bubbleheads babble at the top of their lungs, and Americans were too busy chasing celebrities to notice, and thus the industry went straight down the shitter, shit-bubbles and all.  As for the White House, I think they've been conditioned by years of Faux News fanatical screaming combined with Con tantrums, and they're terrified of you all hitting them in the face.  Alas, the choice was between cowards and batshit fucking insane people this last presidential election, so we ended up with the cowards.  Does that clear it up for you?

I hope so.  That said, I do hope folks pay attention to what you said, because a little more of that kind of thinking would go a very long way toward giving me less dumbfuckery to write about.  Don't worry, though - I'm sure Michele Bachmann and her ilk will continue providing me with plenty o' material.

And don't forget to check out the shit-bubbles link.  I think we could all use a good laugh.  If you don't want to read the whole thing, just start with the first paragraph after the "Invisible Girl" video and keep reading, but only after swallowing all substances presenting choking or spit-take hazards.