06 September, 2011

Dojo Summer Sessions: The Writer's Gut

My heart sister says important things about writing. And you may say to yourself, "Well, of course, Dana would think so - Nicole's the sister she never had." That's true. Yes, I am partial. But there's also another factor: Nicole writes for a living, so when she says things about writing, these important things, it behooves an aspiring author to listen for reasons beyond the fact Dana loves and trusts her.

She had this to say just recently:
I have to trust myself as I write these stories. I have feelings about which stories will work and which should probably be included only in my journal. And I have those feelings for a reason. My writer's gut is telling me which direction to go. I just have to trust it.

As writers, it's sometimes easy to trust other people's opinions more than our own. After all, writers are seeking approval of fellow writers, agents and publishers and, ultimately, readers. We want to know that what we're doing is going to be read and enjoyed by people.

But only you know the best way to do your characters justice. Only you know how to write your stories. You have to trust yourself.
She's right. She's right about all of it. And those last lines, particularly, are ones that are now burned into my writer's soul and will not let go, because they are true, and I sometimes need to hear them stated that starkly so that I am reminded of the truth.

But what did I get hung up on? The "writer's gut." What is that? What is this "writer's gut"? Why should I trust it?

I'm not one much for talk of instinct and intuition anymore. I used to be. Then I started hanging round with scientists, who subject their "gut instinct" to rigorous testing. They're so often wrong, these intuitions, these leaps. The writer's gut, you see, is an instinct. It's an intuition. Why should we trust it?

Because those instincts and intuitions are hard-won, my friends. They only happen after we've worked ourselves bloody, after we've been writing for a long time. The writer's gut is different from that first flush of creativity, that alluring idea, that wild self-confidence you feel before you've actually picked up a pen and run up against harsh reality. The writer's gut is developed only after years, perhaps decades, of hard, lonely work.

It's your subconscious writer's mind, the one you acquired after a billion failed drafts and some writing classes and/or workshops and reading countless books on writing and blogs on writing, the one that listened to and absorbed what the experts (i.e., successful authors you worshipped) told you about how to write, watching the story unfold and clearing its throat meaningfully on occasion.

It plugs you in to a high-voltage current and gives you the buzz of your life when you're on to something, when you're working with an idea that will lead to a fantastic story. It takes your brain and gives it a good hard wrench when you've hared off in the wrong damned direction. It can't always articulate what's wrong and what's right. But if you listen just right, you can tell what it means. And when you've learnt to listen to it, it can keep you on a path that everybody says you shouldn't take but turns out to be the right one in the end. It can steer you round stumbling blocks. It can tell you when you've gone badly astray and must backtrack rather than stumble stubbornly ahead.

Is it wrong? I'm sure it sometimes is. But if you've honed it, you can trust it most of the time.

I don't actually think of it as my "writer's gut." I think of it as the story. The story knows better than I do. It always does. It knows what it wants and needs. It knows if I'm the right writer for it. I've got a hard drive full of story ideas, amazing ideas, wonderful ideas that would make fabulous stories, but I know I can't write them. My writer's gut tells me they're not my stories. Perhaps someday I'll be able to give them free to a good home. They should have adoption centers for abandoned story ideas. But there are ideas that look up at me with those big, soulful eyes, and wriggle just a little, and I know they're mine. I know, even if they look ridiculous to other people at first, that I can help them grow into something sleek and beautiful and enchanting. There are stories that are mine to tell, and I recognize them now. They make it easier to regretfully pass the other stories by, leave them for another.

My writer's gut also knows when I've gotten ahead of myself. It knows when a story idea is mine, but I'm not ready for it yet. Then it slows me down to a gentle halt, directs me to do some more work before coming back to that story. I'm manifestly not ready now for some of the ideas I have got. There are plenty of others to work with in the mean time. My writer's gut tells me that this is fine. All of my stories will be better served in the end by writing the ones I'm prepared for first. There are stories I told ten years ago I couldn't tell now, and stories I'm telling now I couldn't have told ten years ago. And eventually, with work and care, they'll be drawn together into a body of work, whole and complete, and ready to make their own way in the world.

You may wonder why I haven't tried publishing those stories. My writer's gut again. It tells me to wait, just now. I write out of order. After long consultation with my writer's gut, it's been determined that this is the proper way for me to write, but not to publish. That's fine. Stories are patient. These stories will be just fine waiting a few more years until their siblings are ready to join them in that grand adventure that is finding an audience.

I can hear the publish-or-perish crowd howling in protest just now, but they shan't overrule my writer's gut. Theirs tells them to push their work out in the world, and they are right - for those works. Not these. I used to beat myself up over not being like them. No more. No, I've learned to listen to that instinct that's telling me it's all right to wait until the stories are ready. Not forever. Not until they're perfect, because nothing ever is, but until they are as right as they need to be.

The thing about this writer's gut is, you know your stories better than anyone else possibly can. You live them. They are inside you. And that's what gives you the instincts you have got. Instinct is just a word for something you know so well you can't articulate it. But it's not that silly intuition that's no better than tossing divining sticks or a pair of gaming dice. It's that intuition that comes from knowing something very, very well.

So, yes, when you've lived with your stories long enough to know them more intimately than you've ever known a lover, emblazon these words upon your wall, so that you will never forget them:
But only you know the best way to do your characters justice. Only you know how to write your stories. You have to trust yourself.
And then, write.

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