Dumbfuckery du Jour

Every Con in this country needs to be put in a remedial class on the Constitution.  They obviously don't understand it.  Take Lindsey Graham, for instance, who joins the chorus of bleating buffoonery:

In today’s Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee hearing on “Terrorists and Guns,” and Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) said he wholeheartedly agreed with his colleagues and wanted to write legislation that would allow authorities to deprive them of their rights: 

GRAHAM: I want to stop reading these guys their Miranda rights. Me and Peter are so much on board here. …

[snip]

Graham was on active duty in the Air Force as a Judge Advocate General, the corps that acts as legal advisers to the U.S. military. He is now in the Reserves and serves as a Senior Instructor at the Air Force JAG School. In light of his role, it’s disturbing that he would be so willing to distort what Miranda rights are and call for getting rid of them in certain instances. Graham and his conservative counterparts are under the mistaken impression that Mirandizing a suspect grants special rights, when all it does is inform someone of existing rights. As Matt Yglesias adds, “And the whole reason cops mirandize suspects is that if you don’t, you risk having your evidence thrown out of court. If you gather all the information before mirandizing, you could be throwing the whole thing into doubt.”

But, of course, the Fourth, Fifth and Sixth Amendments don't mean jack diddly shit to these dumbfucks.  When they talk about the Constitution, adhering to it and honoring it and how inviolate it is, I believe they have only two amendments in mind: the Tenth, of course, because they're under the mistaken impression that it allows them to ignore the federal government when they're being required to do icky things like treat teh gayz like humans and provide health care to disgusting poor people.  And I think you can all guess the other amendment they worship:

Sen. Frank Lautenberg (D-N.J.) has been pushing a bill that seems pretty reasonable -- if you're on the FBI terror watch list, you should be ineligible to buy weapons in the U.S. Law enforcement has long supported the proposal, but Congress keeps rejecting it.

The Senate Homeland Security Committee held a hearing on the subject yesterday, and as Gail Collins noted, it didn't go well.

"I think you're going too far here," said Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina at a hearing of the Senate Homeland Security Committee on Wednesday. He was speaking in opposition to a bill that would keep people on the F.B.I. terrorist watch list from buying guns and explosives.

Say what?

Yes, if you are on the terrorist watch list, the authorities can keep you from getting on a plane but not from purchasing an AK-47. This makes sense to Congress because, as Graham accurately pointed out, "when the founders sat down and wrote the Constitution, they didn't consider flying."

The subject of guns turns Congress into a twilight zone. People who are perfectly happy to let the government wiretap phones go nuts when the government wants to keep track of weapons permits. A guy who stands up in the House and defends the torture of terror suspects will nearly faint with horror at the prospect of depriving someone on the watch list of the right to purchase a pistol.

Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine) said, "Let me emphasize that none of us wants a terrorist to be able to purchase a gun." She then proceeded to explain her opposition to a bill that would prevent those on the terrorist watch list from purchasing guns.

The NYT's Gail Collins added, "There seems to be a strong sentiment in Congress that the only constitutional right suspected terrorists have is the right to bear arms."

I really don't understand these people.  And my head has hit my desk with such force I'm unable to come up with anything more to say than "ZOMG WTF ow."

Bonus dumbfuckery: the cognitive dissonance between shrieking about teh evil guvmint ramming itself down throats while cheering on the imposition of a police state explained.

Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

Grab something cold, preferably alcoholic, and enjoy yourselves, my darlings.  And don't forget to shake a fist at Arizona while you're at it.

Celebrate with some Mexican fireworks (stick with it past the beginning - the good stuff's after the first 30 seconds or so):




And of course, gotta have the mariachi music:



And something totally fucked-up:



And to finish it off, a little bit of Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers:



Enjoy, amigos!

Dumbfuckery du Jour

Due to the vagaries of Aunty Flow, watching really awful but funny movies with Drew Barrymore, and working on whittling down ye olde book list, I haven't paid much attention to pollyticks tonight.  But I've been thinking of an old incident from several years ago. A friend of mine who worked tech support was listening to a coworker on a call.  A man was screaming at him that his computer had just turned off for no reason, he'd lost all his work, blah blah blah.  The tech, doing what techs do, told him they'd better start with the basics, and check the connections to make sure the power cord hadn't come loose.

"Hang on," the man said. "I'll go get a flashlight."

"Flashlight?" the tech said.

"Yeah, the power went off and it's too dark to see."

The tech sat there for a moment staring at my friend, then gave the customer a return authorization number for the computer, along with detailed instructions on how the computer should be packaged for shipment, finishing with, "You're too stupid to own it."  He then walked into the manager's office and quit.

I tell you this story because I'm reminded of that man, who couldn't understand that a power outage might indeed cause a computer to shut off, and what reminded me was this:

Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) doesn't want Faisal Shahzad, the suspect in the failed car bombing in Times Square, to be Mirandized. Neither does Rep. Pete King (R-N.Y.).

"Did they Mirandize him? I know he's an American citizen but still," King said.

"But still"? What does that mean, exactly?

That means that Rep. Pete King doesn't understand the Constitution.  You see, the suspect in question isn't some hapless enemy combatant (or funny-looking local mistaken for same) yanked off a supposed battlefield somewhere.  He's a motherfucking American citizen.  There is no "but still."  He's an American citizen, full stop, with all of the rights and responsibilities that entails.

Let me just summarize a document that used to be important to this country but apparently no longer is:

• Fourth Amendment: guards against searches, arrests, and seizures of property without a specific warrant or a "probable cause" to believe a crime has been committed. Some rights to privacy have been inferred from this amendment and others by the Supreme Court.
• Fifth Amendment: forbids trial for a major crime except after indictment by a grand jury; prohibits double jeopardy (repeated trials), except in certain very limited circumstances; forbids punishment without due process of law; and provides that an accused person may not be compelled to testify against himself (this is also known as "Taking the Fifth" or "Pleading the Fifth"). This is regarded as the "rights of the accused" amendment, otherwise known as the Miranda rights after the Supreme Court case. It also prohibits government from taking private property for public use without "just compensation," the basis of eminent domain in the United States.
• Sixth Amendment: guarantees a speedy public trial for criminal offenses. It requires trial by a jury, guarantees the right to legal counsel for the accused, and guarantees that the accused may require witnesses to attend the trial and testify in the presence of the accused. It also guarantees the accused a right to know the charges against him. The Sixth Amendment has several court cases associated with it, including Powell v. Alabama, United States v. Wong Kim Ark, Gideon v. Wainwright, and Crawford v. Washington. In 1966, the Supreme Court ruled that the fifth amendment prohibition on forced self-incrimination and the sixth amendment clause on right to counsel were to be made known to all persons placed under arrest, and these clauses have become known as the Miranda rights.

Now, that bolded bit came about because in another era, some folks got the idea that these rights enshrined in the Bill of Rights were matters of convenience, to be invoked only by those with a good civics education.  Alas for the "rights for me but not for thee" crowd, even those American citizens who either a) didn't get a decent education or b) didn't pay attention get to invoke their rights, and have the right to know about said rights.  Period.  End of story.

So, Rep. Pete King and Sen. John McCain, here is your return authorization number: 27746537.  I want you to pack up your belongings, ship them back to your respective states, and resign your positions immediately.  You're too fucking stupid to govern.

That goes for your good buddy Lieberman, too:

This morning on Fox News, Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-CT) suggested that Congress should perhaps create a process to strip “American citizens who choose to become affiliated with foreign terrorists” of their citizenship and, therefore, their Miranda rights. It’s unclear how this would be accomplished, however, since such a process would also presumably involve some sort of due process...

This sort of shit should make you immediately ineligible to hold public office, now and forever.  

Dumbfuckery du Jour

ZOMG, I feel wretched: Aunty Flow has arrived days early.  Perhaps she surfed in on the tsunami of stupid.  There's been so much of that one could drown.  So I'm going to go bury myself in my book list (and don't ask me how I'm going to whittle 49 science wants down to a dozen or so), and I'll just leave you with some useful links.  The Smack-o-Matic is yours, my darlings.  Wield at will.

First, here's everything you need to know about Ken Cuccinelli, the right-wing gift who keeps on giving.  Steve Benen's updated his recent exploits, including the fact he finds boobies on classical art too risque and his passion for trying to shut up climate scientists by investigating them.  Can we regift him?  If only wingnut stupidity could mop up oil slicks, we could just drop him in the Gulf and no longer have to worry about millions of gallons of oil destroying the coast.

Speaking of oil spill catastrophes, Rep. Gene Taylor wants us all to know it's no big deal - it's basically just like chocolate milk.  I'm sure the wildlife will be convinced as they lay dying in toxic sludge.  Now, before I hit Wikipedia, I'm going to make a prediction: this dumbshit Dem used to be a Con.  Hey, I was close - he's a Blue Dog. 

Meanwhile, Gov. Perry wants us all to know this was just an unfortunate act of God, nothing at all to do with the fact that BP resisted tougher safety regulations and failed to foresee the obvious.  I shall assume they'll also tell us they failed to foresee that offering coastal residents $5000 bucks a pop to give up their right to ever sue the company for destroying their homes, environment and livelihoods is a bad PR idea.

Elsewhere, in AZ, which used to be one of the most beautiful states in the union and is now only the kind of place you go if you're pining for the good ol' days of Nazi Germany, neo-Nazi fucktards are busy showing up at Arpaio press events and handing out flyers asking people to snitch out their undocumented neighbors on Cinco de Mayo.  I'm amazed Sheriff Joe ain't running for guvnor of the fine new police state, considering the support he's got.  Could have a little something to do with this, though.

For that dumbshit fucking majority of Amurkins who support Arizona's Gestapo tactics, I'd like you to consider a few things.  First, what happened to PalMD in France can happen to you here in the States, and if you don't have a friend standing by, your story may not end so well.  Second, Latinos aren't the only ones being affected - Native Americans are already getting harassed.  And let me tell you fucktards something: America's original natives won't stand for this kind of shit.  You want to know what real ugliness is, wait until you figure out what happens when all of the brown, black, deeply tanned, and lily-white-but-pissed-as-hell-on-behalf-of-others people band together.  There's a lot more of us than there are of you xenophobic fucktards, we've learned a little something from watching MLK take down ol' Jim Crow, and we will overcome, motherfuckers.

Oh, and just as a personal note: I know Arizona's natives fairly well, and something tells me this is a grudge they'll be holding for generations.  Cons can kiss that constituency goodbye, along with Latinos (already a given), Asians, African-Americans, anyone who's just become an American citizen after working their heart out for the privilege, and anyone who has even a tattered shred of decency left in their souls.  Oh, and when MLB's had it's say, you can count most sports fans out, as well.  My goodness, but that "permanent Republican majority's" looking smaller and smaller these days...

Lest we forget, as Mark Pence did, the reason Arizona's decided to grab the bull by the horns and get gored is because the Republicans threw a fit over immigration reform, Republicans blocked all hope of reform, and Republicans continue to block all chance at reform.  So, yeah, when Cons whine, "But of course Arizona had to act, the feds weren't!" that would be because the very Cons who are crying like crocodiles are the ones who created those very conditions.  The hypocrisy, it is rich.

Oh, and, another Con talking point has bitten the dust.  Not that this should shock you.

There's a great deal more burning stupid where all that comes from, but, my darlings, I am spent.  It's back to science books for me.  I need an antidote to all of this extreme dumbfuckery.

Decisions, Decisions

Help me decide them.

AllPosters is evil, and has decided to have a 22% off sale.  I've got a blank wall wanting to be filled with prints.  Alas, I have found too many.  So it's opinion time.  Tell me what you guys think.  Prints are after the jump.

Tomes 2010: A Lengthy Update

It's been long enough since I've updated this list that you've probably forgotten all about my little project, which is to keep a list of the books I've read in 2010.  Got a bit sidetracked by the Muse cracking the whip, but I have, indeed, still been reading.  So allow me to sum up.

First, ye olde science tomes:

The Mountains of Saint Francis 

This is the best book on geology I've ever read.  Ever.  Oh, others have been wonderful, informative, and well-written, but there's something about this one that just filled me to the brim.  Maybe it's the shock - I thought of Walter Alvarez in connection with dinosaurs and killer meteorites, not the mountains of Italy.  Maybe it's the fact he brings a totality of place and time to the subject, allowing you to experience more than just the rocks of Italy.  Maybe it's the fact he introduced me to some fascinating fathers of geology, people I'd never known: Nicolaus Steno, who began his career in the 1600s by dissecting bodies and ended it by discovering Earth's anatomy; Ambrogio Soldani, an abbot who pioneered micropaleontology all the way back in the 1700s.  Maybe it's the rocks, who become characters in their own right, and with whom one can become very close friends indeed.

I don't know.  There's just something about this book - it's bloody poetic is what it is, gorgeously written, easy to understand while not being dumbed-down, full of passion and wonder and delight.  Walter Alvarez adores geology, and his love glows from every page.  I wish everyone would read this book.  Anyone who's ever been even mildly interested in how mountains came to be, what rocks tell us, and how we know what they're saying, would benefit.  Anyone who wants to fall in love with science, whether it be for the first or five hundreth time, will find this book is a perfect matchmaker.  And anyone who's ever loved Italy will love it even more after this.

The only thing it's missing is color plates.  Otherwise, it's perfect in all its particulars, and I'm grateful indeed to Walter for writing it.  More, please!

The Seven Hills of Rome: A Geological Tour of the Eternal City

If you haven't got enough of Italian geology, here's an excellent source.  And it's got walking tours!  This book is perfect for both armchair and actual tourists who want to know how Rome was really built, and would like to discover some earth history among the ruins.  This book is a must-have if you're a geology buff bound for Rome - there's a little something for everyone in your tour group, so you can keep the non-geology buffs distracted with wonderful old buildings and such like while you get on with enjoying the rocks.  Art, architecture, history and science, all rolled into one easy-to-read volume!

Now.  Who's going with me?

Devil in the Mountain

Simply astounding.  That's what this book is.  The Andes are fascinating mountains and Simon Lamb absolutely does them justice.  You'll find out how puzzling features like the Altiplano came to be, for instance.  And it provides a fascinating look into field research: the difficulties of getting it done in politically unstable areas of the world, the extremes in weather, the hazards of altitude sickness, camping in the freezing cold, dealing with horribly limited resources....  Simon puts you there.  This book is a must for anyone who wants to live the geologist's life, or wants to know more about it, as well as learn how the Andes came to be.

Longitude

A fun, intriguing, and very brief book that makes one realize how fortunate we are to live in an age of clocks.  We don't often think of clocks in connection to map coordinates, do we?  And we don't think how bloody difficult it is to calculate a thing like longitude, which is nothing like latitude when you get right down to it.  Dava describes the problems confronting sailors before the discovery of an efficient means to determine longitude in vivid detail.  She weaves tales of suffering sailors, confounded captains, broke backers, and myriad others who would have been much better off knowing where exactly they were.  And then she puts us in the middle of the wars between astronomers and clockmakers as they fought for a very rich prize, paints the travails of Britain's stratified society, and brings to life some of the most remarkable time pieces ever made.

The Science of Crystals

Can I tell you what a relief it is to read about the actual science behind crystals, rather than all the New Age ooo-they're-majick!!1!!1! crap?  Alas, no image of the book (hence this nifty NASA photo), and it's thoroughly out of print, but I was able to pick it up in a used bookstore, and got a crash-course in the history of crystallography, how crystals are formed, and the nifty uses for them.  One doesn't often think of the pharmaceutical industry when contemplating crystals, but they're of some use there.

Without crystals, our modern world wouldn't work.  So it's a good thing to get to know them a bit better.  Besides, they're just interesting.

The Selfish Gene

Yes, I've finally got round to becoming a true Dawkins fan.  And I can see why The Selfish Gene has excited so many people for so long.  We're not really used to thinking of the gene as the basis for natural selection - we know genes have a hand (they should - they made 'em), but we tend to emphasize the organism or the species, when it makes more sense to think of genes as the fundamental unit.  And viewing natural selection through that lens resolves some rather thorny problems with altruism and social insects. 

Some folks report they found it a depressing read.  I find it reassuring.  So what if genes are basically selfish little buggers?  In their quest for immortality, they learned to get on with others, and so, perhaps, shall we.

River Out of Eden

This is an interesting metaphor: genes as rivers, flowing, diverging, contained within their banks.  This is a handy little volume, brief but concise, which seems like an excellent introduction for folks who don't know much about evolution.  It's short enough to avoid intimidating those who equate large science books with dense, technical pain; it starts with a Biblical metaphor useful for suckering in those who haven't yet shaken off their God delusion (there's even a chapter titled "God's Utility Function!"), and it explains everything wonderfully clearly.  For those of us who are already familiar with the subject, it's a good refresher, gives us some additional tools for thinking about evolution, and has a wonderful chapter at the back speculating on the commonalities we should expect to see between us and life on other worlds.  Like all of Dawkins's books, well worth the time spent.

Our Choice

This has been my bathroom reading for the past month or so.  I figured that's the best place to contemplate the ways in which we're flushing our planet down the shitter.  What's wonderful about this book (aside from the utterly gorgeous photos) is that there are so many simple, sensible, low-cost and/or profitable ways to solve the climate crisis.  What's infuriating is that so many people are too stupid or greedy to implement them.  Happily, the bathroom makes a great chamber for screaming in rage - wonderful resonance in there.

This book should be required reading for absolutely everyone in the world - while we still have one.

We're not done yet, my darlings.  Let's move on to the fiction!

Blackout

Don't read this book.  Buy it, but don't - I repeat, don't - read it until the last half of it, All Clear, comes out in October.  I'd forgotten that this, like Lord of the Rings, is a book that doesn't end so much as stop because it's not the whole book.  Fuck you, publishers!  Argh.

But it's a damned good read so far.  If any of you are familiar with Connie Willis's time travel stories, you know she handles them right.  This isn't a happy one - it's frightening, dazing and confusing, and people get hurt.  We're talking about historians trapped in London during the Blitz, after all.  And it stops on a rather desperate note, which is why I'm saying, don't even touch it until you have both books in hand.

To Say Nothing of the Dog

After an experience like Blackout, of course, there's nothing one can do but turn to this time-traveling tour-de-force.  It's one of the funniest books I've ever read, and one of the most impressive.  It's written in the first person, yet Connie Willis manages to tell you something the narrator doesn't know without resorting to cheap tricks.  You know someone's a hell of a great writer when they can do that.

You'll never look at Victorian England, time travel, love or seances in the same way ever again after this book.  You'll also probably find yourself wanting to read Jerome K. Jerome's Three Men in a Boat, which this book pays homage to, and that's something everyone should do before they die.  And, of course, you'll have to read P.G Wodehouse as well.

Bellwether

This is a science fiction book about fads.  Indeed, fads.  And it's about chaos, and scientific discovery, and love, and really idiotic management trends, and sheep, and a great many other things besides. 

And I have to say, Connie puts forth a pretty damned good explanation for how fads happen.

I don't know any writer outside of Terry Pratchett who can pull together so many disparate bits into madcap comedy and make it work so well.  Which is why I read Bellwether once more.  Once you start, you can't stop. 

Inside Job

For anyone who's ever wanted to see it stuck to psychics, this is your book.  For anyone who's ever loved H. L. Mencken, this is your book.  For anyone who loves skepticism, this is your book.

And, of course, this being Connie Willis, there's plenty of twists, turns, and a bit o' romance. 

I don't want to say too much about it - might give things away - but let's just say she gets channelers, editors of skeptical mags, and former Hollywood actresses-turned-mythbusters just right.  And while things take a turn for the supernatural here and there, I think you'll still end up satisfied.



And no, I wasn't done with Connie Willis just yet.  I also dipped into my favorite short story collections.  I had to re-read "Spice Pogram" in Impossible Things, didn't I?  Screwball romantic comedies featuring aliens, linguists, strippers, wanna-be child stars, and possible Spielbergs can't go wrong.  This collection also contains "Ado," which shows what can go horribly wrong when extreme political correctness and Shakespeare collide; "Even the Queen," which is what happens when people ask Connie Willis to write about women's issues; and "At the Rialto," which is one of the best romances ever written about quantum physics.  I moved on to Miracle and Other Christmas Stories, the title story of which is a hilarious take on Christmas spirit (and spirits).  It also seemed necessary to go back to beginnings, so I picked up Fire Watch, which is the short story collection that made me realize that women could write extremely good science fiction.  Not to mention very funny science fiction - "Blued Moon" plays with the idea that there's something in the old superstition that coinky-dinks happen more during blue moons.  The title story is an excellent introduction to her time-traveling world.  And my absolute favorite story by her ever is "Sidon in the Mirror," which haunts me to this day, and makes the soles of my feet feel occasionally tender.

At last, I had to put Connie Willis aside and move on to other things.  Few authors are a worthy follow-up to her, but here's one:

The Chronicles of Master Li and Number Ten Ox

I have a quarrel with publishers, who decided to keep the first and third books in this trilogy in print, but not the second.  Buggers.  Luckily, there's this handy edition, which is still available used, and worth every penny of the $50 I spent on it (although the thing's available for $25 now that I own it, of course).  If you've ever wondered what Sherlock Holmes would be like if he were an elderly Chinese Taoist, this is the book that will answer that question.

In turns hysterically funny, lyrically beautiful, and in many places remarkably historically accurate, replete with Chinese folk and fairytales, Taoism, Buddhism, and Confucianism, lots of sex, lots of intrigue, lots of paeans to Holmes and Watson, and gorgeously written through and through, this is without doubt one of the best fantasy series ever written.  I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me - and I desperately wish Barry Hughart was like Terry Pratchett, churning out book after book until I could fill an entire bookcase.  One thing I know: I'll never read anything quite like this ever again.  I only wish I could.

So there we are.  All up-to-date.  More will be coming soon, doubtless - I just began The Making of the Fittest by Sean Carroll, and so far it's phenomenal.  I've just picked up two local books, Natural Grace by William Dietrich (and who can fail to love a book that begins "You animal, you"?), and The Street-Smart Naturalist by David B. Williams.  There's my wish-list to contend with, and my to-be-read shelves aren't yet empty, so I expect the Tomes 2010 list will be bulging even more very soon.

Let's just hope they made the floors of my apartment strong enough to hold them all...

"Let's Just Look at a Few Books," She Said

"We'll just see if Amazon has anything interesting," she said.  "Won't be but the work of a moment," she said.  "All we're doing is checking out the first few pages of the geology search results," she said.

I hate it when I lie to myself.

I'm deep in the brown and sticky now, my darlings.  My science book wish list is splitting at the seams, and we're only on Result 649 of 10,551 results.  And that's filtered by the books available for Prime shipping.  Argh.

Here's the one I'm most excited about just now: Origins: The Evolution of Continents, Oceans and Life.  Doesn't that just look delish?  I'm not exaggerating when I tell you I cried - yes, cried - when I flipped through the preview. 

I'd planned to chuck a portion of my upcoming bonus into savings.  Alas, that sensible idea is looking distinctly unlikely just now. 

As if that's not bad enough, this burgeoning book list o' mine doesn't include the tomes I'd developed an interest in whilst perusing one of the most evil threads on the intertoobz: Jerry Coyne's damned Spring Reading list.  Argh.

(On a completely different note, I just saw a badger or opossum or some such creature snuffling its way across our lawn.  This is why I smoke - I end up going outside and seeing fascinating things I've never seen before.  Nor heard.  Those things are very loud indeed as they sniff out tidbits.)

Anyway.  We have now worked our way deeper into trouble by finding Trees: Their Natural History.  It's $50.  It's also got one of the snarkiest opening lines in science tome history: "Everyone knows what a tree is: a large woody thing that provides shade."  I'm smitten.  And I'm also busy researching the evolution of all things woody that provide shade, so on the list it goes, and I shall probably not be able to resist owning it.  Honestly, I'm fascinated by the whole evolution-of-trees thing lately.  I'd just meant to get a few factoids on leaves, but the more I read, the more interested I got, and the more I realized the vast majority of my books on biology are rather animal-centric. 

And of course when you get one, you may as well get another, even though they're close cousins.  Right down to the snark: "A tree is a big plant with a stick up the middle."  But The Tree: A Natural History of What Trees Are, How They Live, and Why They Matter looks as though it shall provide far more than just a slightly-differently-worded take on the whole tree evolution schtick (and no, I couldn't help myself just then).  Its introduction discusses some famous trees, and there's a very intimate, friendly feel there - this is an author who knows and loves his trees.  In a way, it reminds me of a book I'll be reviewing here tomorrow, Walter Alvarez's The Mountains of St. Francis, which is another book written by an author who deeply, passionately, and unashamedly loves his subject.  Books like that make you realize that science can be just as emotionally compelling as any story, if not more so. 

I think some of my friends get very annoyed by the fact I spend so much time with my nose down in research.  I don't, they say, need to know so much to write the damned story.  Perhaps that's true.  Perhaps I could write very good stories without knowing quite a lot.  But they miss the point: it's the journey that's the reward.  It's not that I must do the research, it's that I want to.  I might use the merest fraction of what I've learned in the actual story, it may take me far longer to write than it would have otherwise, but the story will be richer for my knowing this stuff, and most importantly, I'm richer for knowing it.

This world, this universe, is utterly remarkable.  The more I delve, the more astounding and enthralling it becomes.  Mere myth, lovely as myth is, can't compare, although it provides useful metaphors: Odin gave his eye for knowledge.  I think, therefore, I can spare a few hundred bucks.

Come to think of it, trees were of some importance to Norse myth as well.  Yggsdrasil, anyone?

Now if you'll excuse me, I'll just be off to put myself to bed with an improving book or few.

Just For the Record, I Hate Apple

Oh, yes.  I do.  I do indeed.  They merely annoyed me with their overpriced, over-hyped, under-performing products before, but now they've gone and decided to shut down Lala.  Now where the fuck am I going to go to preview entire albums for free when Playlist hasn't got 'em?  Come to depend on that, I have, since I have limited resources to spend on music and I can't tell what albums shall suit me best just from a song or two.

Fuckers. 

Hey, Steve Jobs - this song's for you:

Dumbfuckery du Jour

Apologies for missing yesterday, my darlings.  I've been waylaid by gawdawful PMS hormones.  Between the constant hunger, hot flashes, supreme irritation and terminal exhaustion, it's been an interesting week.  Last night, it seemed rather more sensible just to watch a Nova episode on bonobos and go to bed with Richard Dawkins.

Hormones haven't improved, and neither has the Con mentality.  I'd say "mind," only there's really nothing one could call a mind in what passes for their thinking.  The endless parade of dumbshittery has been, well, endless.  It gets numbing at times.  But then one dumbfuck rises above the background hum of abject stupidity and comes up with a really outrageous - well, one could hardly call something so idiotic an idea - and outrage trumps ovaries.  Besides, Mythbusters just proved women can tolerate more pain than men, and so I feel empowered to take up the Smack-o-Matic and give it a good workout.

The reason for my burst of energy: Rep. Duncan Hunter has decided the answer to all our immigration woes is to axe the Fourteenth Amendment and deport the kiddies:

The Los Angeles Times reports that, at a tea party rally in the San Diego County city of Ramona , Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-CA) stated that U.S. citizen children of undocumented immigrants should get deported along with their parents to save the state of California money:

QUESTION: Would you support deportation of natural-born American citizens that are the children of illegal aliens?

HUNTER: I would have to, yes. [...] We simply cannot afford what we’re doing right now. California is going under. How much in debt are we? Twenty billion dollars? [...] And we’re not being mean, we’re just saying it takes more than just walking across the border to become an American citizen. It’s what’s in our souls.

Apparently, what's in Duncan Hunter's soul is small-minded, loathsome, xenophobic, merciless and extreme assholery combined with a stunning contempt for the Constitution.  Oh, and if one plans to sift him for human decency, don't bother - I don't think even a HEPA filter's fine enough to find it.

Now, most politicians would be wise enough to walk such an outrageous statement right back, given the chance.  But, like Sue "Chickens for Checkups" Lowden, he has decided to go for broke:

I just had long and spirited interview with GOP Rep Duncan Hunter of California, and in it, he strongly defended his controversial suggestion earlier this week that children born in the U.S. should be deported if their parents are illegal immigrants.

[snip]

In an interview, he clarified, amplified and strongly defended the claim — and said he stuck by it even though the 14th Amendment stipulates that people born here are American citizens.

Hunter clarified his original claim by saying he only supported deporting kids if their illegal parents were deported. “The policy should be, the kids follow the parents,” Hunter said. “You’re not gonna break up the family. If you have illegal parents, who are deported, what do you do with the kids?”

Oh, I dunno, Duncan... mebbe talk to the parents about it?  Hand them off to legal relatives, or afford them some other chance at a decent American life rather than sending them back to the shithole their parents were desperate enough to become undocumented American residents to escape?  Put it like this: while family's important, so is the chance at growing up happy, healthy, and not terrorized by poverty, political repression, or religious violence.  And, y'know, there's always the humane option of giving parents a path to legalizing their immigration status. 

But that's a bridge too far for a man who thinks the Constitution is a mere inconvenience:

Asked to comment on the fact that the 14th Amendment affords those born here the rights of citizens, Hunter allowed that this was the case. But he said that it was trumped by the need to avoid breaking up families in the event of the deportation of parents.

Hunter’s staff has tried to clarify his comments by pointing out that he’s supporting legislation that would solve this problem by making citizenship no longer automatic for children of illegal immigrants born here.

But, asked directly whether he still would advocate for deporting under-aged citizens even if this bill never sees the light of day, he confirmed he would. I asked whether this meant he supported empowering the government to deport those whose rights are enshrined by the 14th Amendment.

“We should empower the government to forcibly maintain that family unit, and send them with the parents back home,” Hunter said.

So, Dunky thinks mere legislation can amend the Constitution so that pesky 14th Amendment no longer applies.  Failing that, he thinks we should simply ignore it since he doesn't like what it says.  And a man who is ostensibly for small government thinks the government should be very large indeed when it comes to forcing kiddies to leave the country. 

As Digby pointed out, the tune Cons carried was rather different when a gun was getting shoved in Elian Gonzalez's case.  But nevermind.  Apparently, the situation's different when the kiddies are born in the US and thus actual American citizens rather than simply landing here carried by Flipper.

You may wonder how Cons could be so damned inconsistent on their own fucking principles (small guvmint!  Protect the Constitution!), but that's ably explained by this post, which explores How To Believe Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast.  It's an education.  Alas, it won't learn Cons nuthin', cuz of the fact they've shut off their brains entirely.

And before the few remaining Conservative intellectuals start handwringing and asking why oh why it came to this, they may want to read John Cole's post, in which he explains just how the Cons came to be the way they are:

I see via DougJ that the epistemic closure wankfest is still in full effect, and while I’m really enjoying laughing at the shock the “conservative intellectuals” are having, part of me just wants to tell them to choke on a hamburger. Who do they think came up with all the bullshit that is coming back to haunt them?

These concerns about the “closing of the conservative mind” are humorous until you realize that it was the conservative intellectuals and elites who spoon-fed the masses bullshit for decades in order win elections.

Do read the whole thing.  It's more than worth the time.

At least all of this has answered a niggling question for me.  Y'see, I was starting to wonder if I was being too hard on these idjits.  I mean, really, could people be this fucking stupid?  Was I missing something?  Was I, perhaps, not giving credit where due?  And the answer is, nope.  It's not just my librul tendencies seeking out the worst.  It's really that bad.  Just ask the former conservatives who have fled screaming from the Cons.

This is why, when November comes, I'll be happy to vote Republican.  I'd much prefer to vote for progressive Dems across the board, but given the choice between a Republican in Democrat's clothing and a frothing insane Con, I'll go Republican (D).  At least that way, a somewhat sane person will end up in Washington.  I know that some of my more progressive friends find that anathema, given their strong desire to punish Dems for not being progressive enough, but I'm not willing to fuck this country over further to prove a point.  Look, if there were actual moderate Republicans running, I might consider switching votes to explain my displeasure to Dems, or at least drum out the ones who fall for the "they'd love me if I were more center-right!" fallacy.  But, alas, their opponents are batshit fucking insane, and I'm not willing to give Cons the idea that such insanity is the ticket to political power.  Other ways will have to be found to push reluctant Dems (and Republicans who can only get elected if they plunk a D after their names) further left.

Anyways.  It only took a week for Sue "Chickens for Checkups" a week to get ridiculed into a lame walk-back.  We'll see if good ol' Duncan "Fuck the Fourteenth, Deport 'em All!" Hunter is forced to do the same.  If not, I'm afraid we'll have just seen the last vestige of sanity trickle down the leg of the Teabagger movement, and should the Cons sweep to power on a wave of short-sighted anti-incumbent fervor, Arizona's draconian immigration law will seem the very model of modest restraint compared to what comes next.

Science Quote o' the Day

"They're the Snickers bar of the desert."

Michael Nachman, U of A, ladies and gentlemen, on the rock pocket mouse and the fact nearly everybody in the desert eats them.

Available in both milk and dark chocolate, no less.

I'm sure these poor little buggers would have a different take on ye old Snickers slogan: "Don’t let hunger happen to you."

And yeah, I'm only just now getting round to watching "What Darwin Never Knew."

Dumbfuckery du Jour

So much stupidity... so little time.

Lessee... we have my old home state acting the complete wingnut fools.  A lot has been written, but Jon Stewart covered it all:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Law & Border
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

Arizona is beautiful, it overflows with natural wonders, and it has some great people in it, many of whom now will have to carry around proof of citizenship because their skin isn't Day-Glo white.  I'm boycotting my own damned state.  Won't be going to see my parents, won't be buying anything from it, won't be praising it as a fine tourist destination, until the fucktards in the State House come to their senses and repeal their little Gestapo-fantasy bill.  And I'm going to laugh as the state bankrupts itself trying to fend off lawsuit after lawsuit while bleeding tourists.  I mean, seriously.  Do you know how many foreign people go through there every year to eyeball the Grand Canyon and other assorted wonders?  Millions of 'em.  And do you know how many are likely to come through now that they know they could be snatched off the street and thrown in jail because they've been caught displaying a foreign accent in public?  Yeah.

Way to fucking go, AZ.  Good fucking move.  Very impressive.  I knew the state had a lot of stupid people in it, but I didn't realize just how extreme the dumbfuckery had gotten.  I mean, you've almost made Virginia look sensible, and they're currently trying to make sure people can get roaring drunk in public while carrying firearms.

Holy shit.

Elsewhere, the RNC is wagging its bare buttocks at the federal law against fake-census materials and continuing to send out the fake-census mailers which inspired said law, all the while whining that it's the Dems' fault they're doing it.  Really.  And if the Dems wrote a law against everyone at the RNC committing mass suicide, but forgot to specify that includes holding guns to each others' heads and pulling the trigger simultaneously, I suppose they'd be compelled to do that, too. 

Meanwhile, Ben Nelson is throwing a screaming fit because Chris Dodd won't give him everything he's ever wanted in the financial reform bill.  Neither Dodd nor Harry Reid are impressed.  And Harry's on a tear, gleefully scheduling vote after vote to ensure the Cons end up on the record repeatedly opposing Wall Street reform.  Somebody's learned to play hardball.  Too bad he didn't do it on health care reform, but hey, better late than never.  Cons are cracking.  And while Dems (all except Bawling Ben Nelson) enjoy themselves immensely on both this win-win situation and the imminent battle over immigration reform, Lindsey Graham joins Bawling Ben by sniveling that he won't play with his very own climate change bill ever again unless those mean nasty Dems promise not to do immigration reform at all.  Something tells me he won't get what he wants any more than Bawling Ben just did.

It's nice to see Dems show a bit of spunk and spine.  Let's hope this happy state of affairs continues.

Now if you'll excuse me, I must go lay in a supply of popcorn and soda for the upcoming beatdown Arizona's about to get from the courts.  Should be quite the fucking show.

My Night

My darlings, I promise, a nice bit o' political yawping soon, complete with the spanking of assorted deserving bottoms and plenty to titter at, but tonight I'm trying to finish a bit o' a scene that's got me stuck.

So far, in order to avoid accomplish this, I have stared at the scene, twiddled a couple of words in it, moved some research notes from one place to another, and then took a walk in the rain, in the dark, to fondle leaves.  And that was delightful.  Things smelled pretty, and it's just a little bit of magic, going outside in the rainy dark to walk in a character's shoes.  I touched a great many leaves on trees, brought some home with me, and then promptly got to work... tracking down the classical music piece that was very briefly played in Mr. Holland's Opus and was filched for Angelzoom for the song "Lights."  It's "Sleepers Awake" by Bach, if you're curious.  Many thanks to All Experts.

But really, seriously, I'm going to work on this scene any moment now.  Just that little bit, touching an alien leaf, and then I must get on with the really hard work of sketching out the rest in its entirety, complete with long windy background pieces on art and architecture and so forth, because damn it, I want to get it right.  It's the first trip offworld for Dusty.  It's important - no, not just that, essential.

And so kicking pollyticians in the arse shall have to wait for tomorrow.  In the meantime, if you haven't seen Ang Lee's The Wedding Banquet, I do recommend it.  And Mr. Holland's Opus, for that matter.

Now it's off for some more avoidance before I write the bits that need to be written...

First Outing

Spring is here, spring is here!  Life is skittles and life is ginormous rhododendrons blooming all over the place.  My intrepid companion dragged me away from the Muse for an afternoon to go to the Rhododendron Species Garden in Federal Way.  I spent most of the week not wanting to go.  Rhodies don't charm me.  They've got ugly leaves and all they do is hang around looking virulently green.  At least, that's how the ones at work always seem.  I have about as much interest in seeing a garden full of them as I have in picking up hairballs: it's not pleasant, but I sometimes do things I dislike for people I love.

Astoundingly, I ended up liking the rhodies quite a bit.  The buggers put on one hell of a show in the spring.  And the garden's very nicely done - there's much more than rhodies there, and lots of little paths go to interesting spots.  I killed two sets of batteries when I barely expected to snap any pics at all.  And I think you'll agree the trip was worth it.  I mean, just look at this:

It's very purple!  We loves purple!  And in true Northwest fashion, it's got moss growing on it.  I wish I could tell you what species it is, but my snap of the nameplate turned out too blurry to read. 

There's far more where that comes from.  Do follow me after the jump, or you'll miss out on the most spectacular shots.

Leaves

That's what I'm having to research just now.  Fucking leaves.  No shit.  And yes, it's bloody well important, or I wouldn't be doing it, now, would I?

And in honor of that....

I love you, Century Media. Thank you for not only posting the official video, but allowing us to embed. That means I get to introduce readers to the awesomeness of The Gathering. Now please tell the other record companies that this is an intelligent thing to do...

Oh, hell, while we're at it, here's another:

This is why, if a little girl's unfortunate enough to end up with me as a mother, she shall be named Eleanor.  

And while the sound quality's crap on this version, the intro's utterly enchanting, so click here if you want to have some science-geek with your progressive metal.

Woozle and Mike Free-For-All Debate Thread

The never-ending debate appears to have not ended, and since I'm sometimes too distracted to moderate comments and yet completely unwilling to let spammers have their way, here ye go, gentlemen.

And because I sometimes like to bring up Mortal Kombat....