07 May, 2009

Comment o' the Week

Woozle. You are genius.
Potential headlines for any follow-up on Grey Poupongate:
* Dems to GOP: Don't Get Flustered, Try a Little Mustard
* GOP Mustard for New Attack on Obama
* Pardon Me, Do You Have Any Grey Matter?

I think what's happening here is not so much that the Right is "freaking out" but that they're trying to build up an image of Obama as elitist by using the old word-association myth-building trick (as in "tax-and-spend liberal"). The Grey Poupon "pardon me" commercials were clearly trying to give the brand an aristocratic tang, and "Dijon" -- well, French stuff is aristocratic by definition, ain't it? So that just proves Obama is secretly an elitist, and not one of us reg'lar folks who would use a down-home American-made brand of mustard, like... y'know... French's. [FX: rimshot]

And the crowd goes wild.


Woozle said...

Harena the hypertwin adds:


Cujo359 said...

Ummm, shouldn't that be Freedom's Mustard?

Woozle said...

We were thinking of a replacement (or condiment) for "Freedom Fries", in case that wasn't obvious...

Right-wingers do seem to have an obsession with food. Remember "W" Ketchup? Obama Waffles? The White House melon patch? In the absence of any kind of real platform or principles, perhaps they should run with this theme -- it would at least demonstrate a sense of humor, something they clearly lack. Some suggestions:
* Torture Tortillas -- a great American pastime and a jab at immigrants, all in one!
* Wingnut Bran Fruity-Os -- the cereal that talks to you about the Second Coming!
* Hypocrisy Helper Pork Burgers -- say "thanks but no thanks" because you're on a diet, then grab some while nobody's looking
* John Yoo-Hoo Cola -- you know it's not good for you, but the label says it's okay
* Right Wing Buffalo Sauce -- candy-colored and shiny but has no substance, and its oily texture prevents any other solutions from sticking
* Stacked Subprime Sandwich -- piled high with leverage and wrapped in a thick shell of unaccountability, this rich construction melts in your lap (and on your hands) as soon as it's out of the bag!

Note: I'm currently accepting offers from any Republicans who need help revitalizing their image and/or understanding reality (which would accomplish the same thing, but with film in the camera).