03 August, 2009

Amazing Proof Obama is the Antichrist!!11!one!

At long last, a frothing fundie comes up with iron-clad evidence Barack Obama is totally the Antichrist!

The fine folks at WorldNetDaily -- the wingnut outfit that was the original source of most of the Birther conspiracy theories, and remains their most ardent defender -- has a new theory it wants to trot out for mainstream consumption:

Barack Obama is actually the anti-Christ. Jesus said so!

An American Christian has produced a brief film for YouTube that connects one statement by Jesus in the Gospel of Luke to President Barack Obama.

His 4-minute video focuses on the direct quote: "I beheld Satan as lightning fall from heaven." (Luke 10:18)

"When I started doing a little research, I found the Greek word for 'lightning' is 'astrape', and the Hebrew equivalent is 'Baraq,'" said YouTube contributor "ppsimmons," a self-described Christian with a theological education and many years in the ministry, who spoke to WND under condition of anonymity out of concern for members of his local church. "I thought that was fascinating."

As he continued looking into the rest of the words in the phrase, he focused on "heaven," and found that it can refer not just to God's dwelling place, but also "the heights" or "high places."

He then recalled Isaiah 14:14, where Lucifer, another name for Satan, is quoted as saying, "I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High."

"I wondered what the word 'heights' is," said ppsimmons, "and I looked it up in the dictionary, and it's 'Bamah.'"

Thus, on the video, the announcer notes, "If spoken by a Jewish rabbi today, influenced by the poetry of Isaiah, He (Jesus) would say these words in Hebrew ... 'I saw Satan as Baraq Ubamah.'"

Well, my goodness, that's just so clear and obvious, innit? I wonder how generations of Biblical scholars missed what was right in their dictionaries the whole time. I mean, granted, what that man's done to logic is probably against the Geneva Conventions Against Torture, but it's not like real Americans care about those foreign law thingies.

Now that it's a proven fact Obama's the Antichrist, I think the fundies had better go find themselves a desert island to hole up on asap. It'll be so much easier for God to rapture them up if they're all bunched in one place, after all, and they wouldn't want to risk accidentally getting the mark of the Beast on 'em. I guess the rest of us will just have to tough out the Tribulation on our own. Don't worry, fundies. We'll cope somehow.

Tribulation Party at my place. BYOB.


lasthussar said...

The Devil is so NT, dahlink. In the OT he comes across more as God's drinking buddy- The whole thing re: Job is a 'Trading Places' style bet.

Anonymous said...

please google "somark innovations" and read.do a little study. You will see the emrgence on a brand new technology. First.. its interesting that this companies name is soMARK. coincidence? bible said 2000 years ago there would be a mark on the right hand or forehead. do you understand ?2000..... years.... ago.....we have the recorded text of this prophecy. Somark innovations JUST developed a brand new 15 digit invisible tattoo , with top secret technology( thier claim not mine), that can scan this tattoo from across the room storing ALL your personal financial information. barak Obama has acess to this technology now...ok you might ask.. so? while developing this technology.. they asked the question where on the body could we put this tattoo if it was implemented? They then took a magnetic resonance image on the human body and found that the least path of resistance of the electrical currents of the human body are in the right hand and forehead... one researcher said.." This sounds like something out of the Bible".....truth can be stranger than fiction. something to concider.