20 November, 2008

Amicus Curiae for the Lord!

Somebody drive me to the ER. I think I've just ruptured myself laughing:

The California Supreme Court will take up various legal challenges to the constitutionality of Proposition 8, with oral arguments to begin around March and a decision expected by next May. I'm sure we'll see a host of arguments between now and March, but the amicus brief on behalf of the Lord is a new one. It's a PDF, but here's the opening statement:

Acting on behalf of the Almighty Eternal Creator, who is holding sole ownership to His creations, all planets, including the earth and everything above, below and on it, myself as His heiress, and the Kingdom of Heaven World Divine Mission (also known as Rebuild My Church Divine Mission), a Non-Profit Corporation in the State of California, submit this Amicus Curiae brief to the address the legal standard for granting "yes" on Proposition 8, passed with 52% of California voters votes, as the State of California Constitution Amendment: "Marriage between one man and one woman only!"

Later on, there's this section:

After a night full of dreams, before dawn on November 11, 2008, before I woke up in the morning, the Almighty Eternal Creator ordered me, saying "You explain to them the consequences that follow each and all of their actions. Once they understand, they will listen!"

These two matters (gay-lesbian and abortion) are just a couple of many major cases where people are exercising their free-will rights for wrong purposes. This has gone on for a hundred-thousand years and has contributed heavily to extreme weather, global warming, financial crisis, recession, global hatred, lying, violence, war and murder, serious sickness and diseases - often for the purpose of gaining rights for wrong purposes, power and money.

I mean, if you want to deny that a non-trivial part of your coalition is out in la-la land, go ahead. But ultimately, conservatives are responsible for giving this kind of nonsense talk a presentable forum and a place in their party. They made a devil's bargain and now they're trying to act like the Dominionists in their midst are perfectly normal.
The woman actually filed this amicus brief in all seriousness. She actually thinks she speaks for the Lord Hisownself. Fair takes my breath away, that does.

You know what image comes to my fertile mind? God paging through this thing at breakfast, having a good chuckle at all the inanity, and hitting that "myself as His heiress" line just as he's taking a deep draught of dark-roasted Columbian. The Lord's coffee sprays across the table. "My who-wha?"

I'd feel sorry for the poor bugger if he existed. Far too many of his followers are mortal embarrassments.

On a somewhat related note, Blue Texan has a little something to say about Kathleen Parker and the Con's souring courtship of the frothing fundies:

For years, Democrats have been told that we "just don't get" those nice people who believe the Earth is 5,000 years old or that being gay is a choice or that science is the devil's magic or that Jesus rode around on dinosaurs. We've been told that our concerns about the religious right's theocratic impulse is naked bigotry, and that we'd keep losing elections so long as we failed to genuflect to their nutty demands. Well.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get this hernia seen to...

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