A few days ago, our favorite gay sex-advice columnist, Dan Savage presented a great idea. You can order a free copy of The Book Of Mormon and it will be hand-delivered to your door by actual Mormons.
On November 21st, Dan Savage posted this on his blog:
"Wouldn't it be sad if the Mormons spent all their money sending out free copies of their book, and didn't have any more money to harass gay people?" writes Slog tipper Zoe. Yes, Zoe, that sounds marvelous.
So I can't guarantee this will work, but I just went and signed up for my free doorstop—err, Book o' Mormon—at Mormon.org, and my zip code wasn't a required field, but my address and phone number were (this suggests the Mormons don't plan to mail a package but they do want a gay dude's number). And when I finished filling out the form, it gave this message:
"Thank you for requesting the Book of Mormon from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You should be contacted by missionaries in a few days."
Oh, sweet Joseph Smith prancing about in body drawers: They are sending Mormons to my house! And if you sign up, they will probably send real, live, magical-underpanted Mormons to your house, too! So, if all goes well, I'll get to recycle a copy of god's word and have a couple strapping "elders" in my living room, where I can turn the tables for once—holding Mormons as a captive audience, attempting to convert them to secularism, lecturing them for their church's insufferable bigotry, pushing them to take shots of tequila, and reading them passages from The Stranger—instead of me being stuck listening to their drivel.
If I didn't work nights, I'd be all over this. Dan and Ghostlawns both report that missionaries duly showed up, and were treated to some reverse-proselytizing. The potential for hours of fun seems enormous.
It's too bad I'm not still in contact with my friend John, who got banned from talking to young missionaries by his uncle the Elder after shaking the faith of too many of them. He could've given us some good pointers. However, you're a reasoned, creative bunch, so I'm sure you can come up with something.