16 April, 2009

Don't Know Much About History

You'd think that people who yawp on and on about how they love this country soooo much more than the icky people on the left would know more about it. But when it comes to American History, they're all epic fail.

Allow us to consider American Idiots: a Comedy in Three Acts.

Act I begins with a typical exemplar of Americanus ignoramus:
Susan Roesgen of CNN reports from the Chicago Tea Party:

Ok, you're here with your two year old and "you're already in debt" (referring to sign he's holding) Why do you say that?

Ditto head freak 2: Because I hear a president say that he believed in what Lincoln stood for. Lincoln's primary thing was that he believed that people had the right to liberty.

Roesgen: Sir, what does this have to do with taxes? What does this have to do with your taxes?

DF2: Let me finish speaking!

Roesgen: Do you realize that you are eligible for a 400 dollar ...

DF2: Let me finish my point. (Crowd getting surly, yelling at Rojan to shut up) Lincoln believed that people had ther right to share in the fruits of their own labor and that government should not take it. And we have clearly gotten to that point.
One slight problem with that hero worship there:
Perhaps now would be a good time to note that Tea Baggers should probably stop looking to Lincoln as a role model. Not only did Lincoln vastly expand the power of the federal government -- up to and including suspending habeas -- he also was the first president to impose an income tax. Worse, it was a progressive income tax, that charged wealthier taxpayers more.

Act II opens on Texas Gov. Rick Perry, who may govern Texas to some degree, but has an extremely weak grasp of its past:
Listen to Texas Gov. Rick Perry say:

Perry: Texas is a unique place. When we came into the Union in 1845, one of the issues was that we would be able to leave if we decided to do that.

We got a great Union. There's absolutely no reason to dissolve it, but if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people, you know, who knows what may come out of that.


Jon writes:

Just FYI, on Perry's 1845 statement, Texas came into the union with the ability to divide into five states, not withdraw. After seceding during the Civil War, Texas was allowed to re-enter the union after ratifying the 13th Amendment. The 13th Amendment banned slavery in the United States and any territory subject to its jurisdiction


And for our third act, Faux News's premier assclown:
It's always entertaining when the "patriotic" ones start talking up the notion of splitting up the United States again. Take, for example, Glenn Beck, yesterday.


"I believe it was Davy Crockett, that as he was standing there in the well of the Senate and they were all yelling and screaming at him, he said -- he looked them right square in the eye and said, 'Hey, you know what? You can all go to hell. I'm going to Texas.' About time somebody says that again.

"You're telling me that states can't say 'Washington, we're not going to commit suicide with you'"?

Now, the part about Davy Crockett is completely wrong. When he said, "You may all go to hell, and I will go to Texas," it was because he'd been rejected by his constituents in Tennessee after one term in the U.S. House, not because he was outraged by federal policies he disagreed with. He went to Texas to fight for secession -- not from the U.S., but from Mexico.

Whelp. Add remedial U.S. History to the list of classes the Cons need to take. I think they've just earned themselves summer school.

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