20 August, 2008

B-B-But He Was a PRISONER of WAR!!11!1!

Oh, for fuck's sake:
For several weeks I've been issuing joking disclaimers that my criticisms of McCain on completely unrelated subjects should not be considered an attack on his service in Vietnam. (I did it earlier today.) It never occurred to me that they'd actually go there but, apparently, the suggestion that McCain might have heard the questions before he appeared on stage at the Saddleback event --- because he wasn't in a "cone of silence" after all --- is impugning his integrity as a POW. For real:
Nicolle Wallace, a spokeswoman for Mr. McCain, said on Sunday night that Mr. McCain had not heard the broadcast of the event while in his motorcade and heard none of the questions.

“The insinuation from the Obama campaign that John McCain, a former prisoner of war, cheated is outrageous,” Ms. Wallace said.

Oh, yeah, right. He can't fucking cheat because he was a fucking prisoner of war, which as we all know turns people into perfect fucking saints.

If that's the case, why are we so fucking worried about the poor bastards rotting in Gitmo? They should be bloody angels by now. But I digress.

The best damned thing that ever happened to McCain was getting tossed in the Hanoi Hilton. Seriously. It's like a magic spell: "But he was a prisoner of war." Ting! Justlikethat, whatever stupid, evil, dishonest fuckery he's been up to gets magicked right away. Heaven forfend some asshole blogger should ever doubt the super-duper powers of the POW wand:

To be sure, it’s obvious that McCain’s detention as a young man in Vietnam helped shape his life, and it’s not unreasonable that he’d want voters to know about his experience.

But that’s not a license to force the “P.O.W. card” into every unrelated question.

Last week, when the Rev. Kirbyjon Caldwell, a close Bush ally, publicly questioned McCain’s character, the McCain campaign responded by highlighting McCain’s background as a prisoner of war. When Dems attacked McCain’s healthcare plan in May, McCain responded by noting his background as a prisoner of war. Asked by a local reporter about the first thing that comes to his mind when he thinks of Pittsburgh, McCain responded by talking about his background as a prisoner of war.

And all of this, of course, dovetails with the McCain campaign running multiple television ads talking about McCain’s background as a prisoner of war, literally including interrogation footage in the commercial.

You know something? I'm so sick of this bullshit I'm about to explode. Because while Carpetbagger and Digby and you and me understand that having been unlucky (or incompetent) enough to be shot down and captured does not instantly make a person into a foreign policy expert with leadership qualities out the wazoo, others apparently fall for this shit. They're so intimidated by the myth their brains just shut down when they hear the letters POW.

You know what? Mine doesn't. This is how much respect I have for John's magic letters: Surviving the experience with mind intact was, no doubt, an accomplishment. Bravo, John. Now shut the fuck up.

Because this is just crass. Real heroes don't strut around wearing their POW status like a medal. They don't hide snivelling behind it every time they get caught doing something wrong. Real leaders do not need to use their wartime victimization as a crutch to prop up their empty bag of a campaign.

Got that, Johnny?

And I fucking dare, oh, I fucking triple-dog dare, you rabid fuckers to come after me. You know who you are. You're the ones as sensitive as an open nerve when it comes to the slightest hint of tarnish on St. John's aluminum armor. You're the ones who scream and stamp your feet and demand the heads of everyone who has the guts to call bullshit when McLame starts whining about how being a POW puts him beyond any and all criticism.

Go right the fuck ahead. Bring it on.

Let's see how good you look attacking a rape survivor. I'm so ready to play that game.

I hope you brought a hat. You'll need it for your teeth.

1 comment:

Cobalt said...

I... I think I love you.

Let's go to California and get married.