Happy Hour Discurso

Today's opining on the public discourse.

Ethics for thee, but not for me (h/t Carpetbagger):

Anchorage, Alaska – Last week, lawyers for Senator Ted Stevens filed several motions asserting that Senators are above the law and
deserve special treatment. Specifically, the defense explained that since the Department of Justice is part of the executive branch, they cannot investigate Stevens or interview his staff since they are part of the legislative branch. Stevens’ attorneys went as far to say that only Congress can discipline a Senator who violates the law by lying on the financial disclosure forms. However, Stevens voted for the legislation which established the financial disclosure forms. In essence, Stevens’ defense is that legislation he supported is now unconstitutional, and therefore the case should be dismissed.

Funny how things you voted for become conveniently "unconstitutional" when they turn around and bite you on the ass, innit? Seems this has been a rather common refrain in Republicon circles. Bush regularly ignores laws he doesn't like. John McCain is all for campaign finance reform until his campain finds such reforms get in the way of his fundraising. And on and on it goes. I think it's time the bastards in Washington realized that if you make the laws, you get to follow them yourself. No fucking exceptions, comprende?

What else can we expect from people who have no conception of reality? For a shining example of just how insane the right wing's become, we need look no further than our old buddy Newt:

Last night on Fox News, host Sean Hannity and former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-GA) returned (as they often do) to Sen. Barack Obama’s (D-IL) recent suggestion that Americans inflate their tires properly in order to save energy costs.

Seeming to outdo his previous false attacks on this issue, Gingrich claimed that Obama’s idea is actually encouraging Americans to “enrich Big Oil” because selling air has “a higher profit margin than selling gasoline”:

GINGRICH: Well, I got a very funny e-mail from a retired military officer in Tampa who pointed out that most tire inflation is done at service stations and you pay for it. And it’s actually a higher profit margin than selling gasoline. So Sen. Obama was urging you to go out and enrich Big Oil by inflating your tires instead of buying gas.

Um. Newt. Big Oil sells oil, not air. Service stations sell air. I know reality's an insurmountable challenge, and you all love to believe every stupid claim you get in your email inbox, but do try to keep up, there's a good little fuckwit.

Then again, maybe not. When Republicons try to employ logic, the results are - well, cringe-inducing:

During a House GOP press conference today, Rep. John Shimkus (R-IL) used the power of logic to push for increased coal mining as well as increased oil drilling. To help make his case, Shimkus held up a lump of Illinois coal and even displayed the jersey of the Southern Illinois Miners:

You know, if drilling is good, drilling and mining is better. … It’s drilling and mining and using great resources like Illinois coal. You all follow the congressional baseball game. I wore this uniform proudly. It says, ‘The Miners.’ The mining industry and coal is part of the solution.

Indeed they are - if you're defining the problem as far too much clean air and a distinct lack of unsightly strip mines.

Isn't it cute how he's had a flash of inspiration by looking at a baseball jersey? "Hey... this says The Miners. The answer's been right in front of me all along!" Look, I know sports can inspire people, but this is just fucking ridiculous.

And what day would be complete without another McCain lie?

In December, when most of the leading presidential candidates were releasing holiday-themed ads, John McCain — who’s “reluctant” to talk about his service during Vietnam — was able to combine two messages in a single campaign commercial: “One night, after being mistreated as a POW, a guard loosened the ropes binding me, easing my pain. On Christmas, that same guard approached me, and without saying a word, he drew a cross in the sand. We stood wordlessly looking at the cross, remembering the true light of Christmas.”

It’s a story McCain has not only put in his ads, but has also repeated for several years, including over the weekend, at the forum at Rick Warren’s Saddleback Church.

Yesterday, however, questions arose about its veracity.

According to a very persuasive Daily Kos diary, the anecdote McCain told about a North Vietnamese prison guard making a cross in the dirt as a sign of solidarity — or as he said, “just two Christians worshiping together” — is very similar to a story about Alexander Solzhenitsyn and his times in the Soviet Gulags.

“As Solzhenitsyn stared at the Cross drawn in the dirt his entire perspective changed. He knew he was only one man against the all-powerful Soviet empire. Yet he knew there was something greater than the evil he saw in the prison camp, something greater than the Soviet Union. He knew that hope for all people was represented by that simple Cross. Through the power of the Cross, anything was possible.”

Steven Waldman notes that McCain’s recounting of this story has changed over the years and “has gradually morphed
from being about the humanity of the guard to being about the Christian faith of the guard and John McCain.”

Is it possible that Solzhenitsyn and McCain had extremely similar experiences? Of course it is. Coincidences happen.

But there’s reason to be suspicious about whether McCain’s powerful anecdote is apocryphal.

Yes, like the fact McCain didn't even bring it up until 1999, after Solzhenitsyn's story came out. Carpetbagger et al recommend caution in questioning this, but for fuck's sake. I'm a writer. I can spot a bit o' plagarism when I sees it. McCain has a pattern of lying and claiming credit for things he didn't do. The stories are remarkably similar. McCain's story came out after Solzhenitsyn's. Let's just put it this way: if it's proved McCain lifted this from Solzhenitsyn, I won't have a heart attack.

Just please tell me these lying, stupid motherfuckers are going to get their asses handed to them this November.