Happy Hour Discurso

Today's opining on the public discourse.

My outrage factor is down, but my amusement factor is through the roof today. I've got images of bumbling clowns spilling from tiny cars and falling all over each other, and I likes it.

If presidential campaigns are numbers games, McCain might as well just fucking fold:

The McCain campaign scored some favorable headlines yesterday when it announced that it had raised $27 million in July. How’d the Obama campaign do over the same time period? Obama’s team sent out this press release this afternoon:

Senator Barack Obama’s campaign announced today that more than 65,000 new donors contributed to the Obama campaign during the month of July, bringing the total raised for the month to over $51 million. More than 2 million people have now contributed to the campaign.

“The 65,000 new donors to the Obama campaign demonstrate just how strongly the American people are looking to fundamentally change business as usual in Washington. We are proud of the millions of volunteers and more than two million donors to the Obama campaign who will provide the backbone of our campaign to put America back on track and reject the old politics and failed Bush policies, which is all John McCain is offering,” said David Plouffe, campaign manager of Obama for America.

McCain’s $27 million was the best month for his campaign to date, but it was nevertheless about half of Obama’s total. What’s more, given that Obama spent a week in July overseas, when he held no fundraisers, his total is all the more impressive.

I think Obama could spend a month in a cave, and still beat McCain's fundraising totals. McCain, in fact, would be desperately screwed if it wasn't for his good buddies Big Bidness:

The Hill reports that the CEOs of the 100 biggest Fortune 500 corporations have given approximately 10 times as much to John McCain as they have to Barack Obama. McCain has received $208,200 from these chief executive officers; meanwhile, Obama has taken in $20,400 from the same group of people...

Something to do with the billions and billions in tax breaks for the richest companies and people, I think. Kinda sad that all those rich buggers still can't beat Obama's fundraising totals, innit?

Where else are McCain's numbers suffering? Well, this should give you some indication of the humiliation to come:

This is old news, but it's utterly hilarious:

Ron Paul is moving his so-called Rally for the Republic from the University of Minnesota's Williams Arena to the Target Center in Minneapolis.

In an e-mail to supporters, Paul said he made the move after measuring the excitement and enthusiasm of his supporters. That means the campaign expects 15,000 people to fill the arena, 4,000 more than could have attended at the university.

"We would not have put all of our cards on the table if we weren't very very confident that we would fill the Target Center," said Jesse Benton -- the spokesman for Paul's Campaign for Liberty group.

Why is this hilarious? Because the 15,000 figure given in the MPR piece is almost certainly an underestimate. In reality, the Target Center can hold more people than the Xcel Center, which is the venue where the Republican National Convention will be held at the same time as the Paul rally.

Yup. A strange little Libertarian can outdraw McCain. That's just pathetic.

The hilarity continues on the energy front. Republicons have gone completely round the bend, up the river, and are now trying to paddle up bullshit creek with their bare hands:

The conservative periodical American Spectator has published a piece by Andrew Cline, editorial page editor of the Manchester Union Leader, which argues that lifting the offshore drilling moratorium would “lower oil company profits“:

But Republicans have a golden opportunity here to turn the tables back on the Democrats. All they have to do is give a basic economics lesson every chance they get. The American people aren’t stupid; they will get it. The lesson is this:

If the Democrats really wanted to cut the profits of Big Oil, they would vote to…increase the supply of oil! Oil company profits are so high because the price of oil is so high. The price is so high because demand is so much higher than supply. Allowing oil companies to drill for more oil will increase supply, which will lower prices, which will lower oil company profits!

I wonder what it feels like to be so utterly fucking stupid. I mean, we're talking serious, IQ-in-the-low-60s stupid here. Think Progress debunks this little nugget nicely, and the only sad thing is that some Americans are so stupid that they'll need it spelled out for them in nice clear block capitals. Allow me to indulge: INCREASING THE SUPPLY OF OIL WILL NOT LOWER OIL COMPANY PROFITS. THEY WILL JUST SELL MORE, WHICH WILL MAKE THEM LOTS OF MONEY. ASK WAL-MART HOW THAT WORKS.

But the more money they make, the more the Big Oil companies suffer. Just ask Bob:

And speaking of Colorado, the campaign of Democratic Senate nominee Mark Udall is sending around this tracker audio of Republican nominee Bob Schaffer complaining that the federal government is taking too much money from the oil companies. "But because prices are soaring, the reality is the federal government is raking in a bunch of cash right now on the backs of energy producers," Schaffer says -- perhaps not the most popular message this year...

Not so much, no. Seems to me oil companies should be paying an assload of taxes on their spectacular profits. After all, they get us into wars, muck up the environment, and fight renewable energy tooth-and-nail. If cigarettes can be taxed for being murderous blots on the human condition, Big Oil can pony up a little cash, too.

Anyway, speaking of Colorado and unpopular messages, you remember that slight lead McCain managed over Obama in Colorado? Pucker up - it's going bye-bye:

If they repolled today, chances are very good that slim gain would be gone. Because there's one thing you do not mess with in Colorado, and that's water.

In an interview yesterday with the Pueble Chieftan, McCain committed what could amount political suicide in the state by saying that the 1922 water compact negotiated between seven western states should be renegotiated to give Arizona, Nevada, and California (the Lower Basin states) more water. That's unlikely to make Wyoming, Utah, and New Mexico (the Upper Basin states) any happier than it's made Colorado.

There's nothing more controversial in the West than water, and the single water issue that is most pressing is what happens as the Colorado drainage continues to experience drought and demand continues to grow....

What does Bob have to say about that cunning plan of McCain's?

"Over my cold, dead, political carcass," Republican U.S. Senate candidate Bob Schaffer said.

Well, then. And what he said was actually rather mild compared to what the Denver Post says:

Memo to: John McCain.

From: Five million thirst-crazed Coloradans.

Subject: Forget about winning our nine electoral votes next November. We don't vote for water rustlers in this state; we tar and feather them! ...

Something tells me McCain's popularity just took a stunning nosedive. I have no idea where I got that impression. Must be that feminine intooisshin o' mine.

I'm actually starting to feel a slight hint of optimism about November. Don't burst my bubble - I know the fuckers will probably find a way to steal the election, but for now, I just want to bask in the sensation of believing they're going to be just that little bit too stupid to manage it.