06 February, 2009

Right-Wing Paranoia Reaches Dizzying New Depths

There's something seriously wrong with the right. They've come completely unhinged. They were bad enough when their buddy Bush was in office, but with the Dems (nominally) in control of the executive and the legislature, they've gone from batshit insane to utterly fucking delusional.

Well. More utterly fucking delusional. Ron from Bay of Fundie has the latest:

This morning, I received an email from Bill Johnson, the American Decency Ass. It opens with this line (I kid you not):

The battle is hot and heavy there in DC

Umm, BJ, I don’t want to know which theaters you visit in your off-hours.

Anyway, he then changes focus:

A reliable friend of this ministry writes about a particular item(s) of concern in Wal-Mart.

I wonder just how reliable, as you’ll see in a moment. The next few excerpts are from the letter from BJ’s “reliable” friend:

“They have this video player called Wii. You hold it in your hand and you can bowl, play tennis, etc.…

Really? I’ve never heard of such a thing. I think you’re bullshitting me!

“…Well my daughter told me that they were at Walmart, looking at the games, and with the childrens games they have a PLAYBOY game. You can undress her, or dress her, and apparently have her do all kinds of things.…

Hot DAMN! I immediately jumped on the internet, credit card at the ready…

… and came up empty! BJ, you asshole! You lied to me!

Does anybody out there know of a Playboy game?

Please? Google failed me!

However, I did find one interesting cultural phenomenon from six months ago! A Wired blog article tells us:

Playboy has released a series of clips showing a scantily clad woman playing Nintendo’s Wii Fit on YouTube.


So apparently BJ’s “reliable” correspondent has confused a YouTube video with an actual game. BJ wants us to participate in boycotts and pass laws banning smut that doesn’t even exist!


It was bad enough when the right was merely madly buying guns, fighting Fairness Doctrine legislation that no one's trying to pass, battling a birth certificate, looking to Sarah Palin to rescue them, sending Joe the Plumber into war zones and Republicon meetings on the economy, babbling about how Obama's going to move the terrorists into a nice ranch-style right next door, screeching that Obama was a secret Muslim plotting to let his jihadist brothers take over America, and trying to turn the stimulus bill into all tax cuts all the time. Now they're fighting video games that don't exist.

I know I've left things off that list. There's just so much insanity it's hard to keep track...

As if all that wasn't enough, they're now howling about an "anti-Christian" provision in the stimulus bill. I'm sure you can guess what's coming:

As it turns out -- surprise, surprise -- this entire uproar is based on nothing. The hysteria is based on the religious right's apparent illiteracy.

"This provision upholds constitutional standards established by the U.S. Supreme Court and in no way affects student groups that meet on public school campuses," said the Barry W. Lynn, executive director of Americans United for Separation of Church and State. [...]

"It's almost a restatement of what the Constitution requires so there's nothing novel in what the House did in its restriction," said Christopher Anders, senior legislative counsel to the ACLU. "For 37 years, the law of the land is that the government can't pay for buildings that are used for religious purposes."

The provision in the bill is just the standard legal language, reflecting nearly four decades of law. All of the on-campus religious activities that have been common for a generation will remain completely unchanged as a result of the recovery package. Conservative activists, and at least one member of the United States Senate, apparently got confused trying to read the bill, and got hysterical for no reason.

It's what they specialize in.

The freakout has only just begun. An unhealthy obsession with Playboy seems to be an emerging theme:

Some of President Obama's most impressive personnel moves have come at the Justice Department, most notably with some lower-profile offices, like the Office of Legal Counsel and the Solicitor General. The team Obama has put together couldn't represent a more thorough and encouraging break from the Bush era.

Naturally, conservative activists are livid.

Christian conservatives are challenging President Barack Obama's picks for top Justice Department positions, charging that past clients like Playboy taint their resumes. [...]

You'd think Playboy magazine ordered people to be tortured or something, the way these fuckwits are screaming. Oh, wait, that would have been a point in Playboy's favor in their eyes, wouldn't it?

I will never understand the right-wing mind, a fact for which I am eternally grateful.


John Pieret said...

Actually, I thought that sending Joe the Plumber into war zones was their best idea in decades. Couldn't we encourage them to send him to Sadr City for Robertson's CBN?

last hussar said...

Maybe they meant the Playboy PC Game