09 September, 2009

Happy Hour Discurso

Today's opining on the public discourse.

After the long holiday weekend, a pent-up flood of stupidity has been unleashed. Where o where are my waders?

Obama's big speech to the kiddies happened today, but not everyone ended up indoctrinated. Y'see, some school districts figured socializing with friends was more important than being encouraged by the President of the United States to stay in school, work hard and aim high.

Blowback is a-comin'. Oh, yes:

TEENAGER (with confidence): "You and Dad told me not to listen to Obama, 'cause he's evil and wrong and communist and all that, right?"

MOM (slightly confused and off-balance): "Absolutely -- but what does that have to do with going to play with your friends before your homework is done?"

TEENAGER (triumphantly): "We watched Obama's speech in school, and he said it was important to do our homework -- so since you said not to listen to him, I figured that the whole homework thing is off, and you'd call my teachers and tell them that I'm "opting out" of all that stuff. (TEENAGER walks out the door while calling back to MOM) See you at dinnertime."

* * *

And if you think I'm making this up, you haven't dealt with any teenagers lately.

There's nobody better at using a person's own hypocrisy against them than a teen. I'd say the experience would make right-wing parents think twice before pulling this shit again, but that's assuming they've thought once, which they obviously haven't.

And Steve Benen has the definitive statement on Jim "Obama Changed His Speech Cuz I Yelled at Him!" Greer:

I remember visiting a friend's house years ago, and seeing a dog who would bark furiously at strangers at the street. When the strangers passed the house and kept walking, the dog felt a sense of self-satisfaction -- as if it was his barking that convinced the stranger to keep going.

Jim Greer and that dog have a lot in common.

Bit of an insult to the poor pooch, but I'm sure he'll get over it.

Moving on to other stupid people... Rep. Jean Schmidt's office assures the country Obama's a citizen, but Jean Schmidt apparently believes otherwise:

Rep. Jean Schmidt (R-OH) spoke at the Voice of America tea party this Labor Day weekend outside of Cincinnati, OH. Following a tense Q&A session — during which, the congresswoman was booed for acknowledging that the Constitution is a living document — Schmidt engaged in a heated conversation with a birther off-stage. At the conclusion of their exchange, Schmidt whispered to the birther, “I agree with you, but the courts don’t.”


Schmidt was among the members of Congress featured in Firedoglake’s Know Your Birthers video. In the FDL video, Schmidt can be seen running away from blogger-activist Mike Stark when he asked whether or not she has any questions about President Obama’s citizenship status.

It's politicians like these who make Birthers, deathers, tenthers, and all manner of other "ers" think they're on to something. Shameless pandering, or a case of supremely stupid people electing supremely stupid politicians? Or do we have a perfect storm of both here? I can't decide.

While Schmidt lives her conspiracy fantasies, Sen. Mitch McConnell lives in his own little dream world:

This afternoon, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ken.) told his colleagues about how he spent his summer vacation.

"I know we always enjoy spending this time with our constituents and hearing their particular concerns. This year, most of us really got an earful.... Over the past several weeks, I visited a lot of doctors, nurses, seniors, hospital workers, small businessmen and women and a whole lot of other citizens across Kentucky and, for that matter, throughout the country."

That sounds very nice. McConnell took some road trips and had a chance to hear a variety of perspectives.

Well, perhaps "variety" is the wrong word. What McConnell neglected to mention is that while most lawmakers, and even the president, hosted events in August at which critics and supporters of health care reform were heard, McConnell "visited" events that were closed to the public.


How many town-hall events did McConnell, a senator from a conservative "red" state, host during the recess? None.

Way to listen to your constituents, there, Mitch. One gets the feeling your reality isn't quite the same as other people's reality. But then, that's usually the case with Cons.

Time now for our "governors behaving badly" segment. Our top story: Mark Sanford thinks he has to stick around for God:

Even as the Speaker of the South Carolina House calls for his resignation, Mark Sanford is remaining defiant.

"God can use imperfect people to perform his will," declared the embattled governor moments ago, explaining in a radio interview that he needs to stick around in office to carry out God's will by working to restructure state government to make it more effective.

Anyone else get the feeling he's delusional with guilt? It passed the point of pathetic a long time ago. I'm not sure there's a word for what he is now.

Meanwhile, Rick Perry joins the Stimulus Stupidity Parade:

It looks like we can add Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) to the list.

Gov. Rick Perry rallied opposition to federal stimulus spending, but he now is the manager of one of the biggest pots of federal gold in Texas: crime grants to local law enforcement agencies.

And those grants have become an integral part of Perry's political machine.


While delivering $2 million to East Texas law enforcement, Perry said, "Texas is tough on crime and remains dedicated to equipping our law enforcement with the resources necessary to protect our citizens and ensure the safety of our communities."

Of course, if Perry had his way, those "necessary resources" wouldn't exist.

Far be it from him to admit it, though.

We turn now to another fucktard from Texas, who so loved playing cowboy that he very nearly let the terrorists win. No, not that fucktard - the other fucktard:

Yesterday, following “one of the most complex and costliest criminal investigations since the Second World War,” British police were finally able to convict three men of plotting to blow up a series of transatlantic airplanes in a planned terrorist attack that would have potentially been “three times more deadly than the 9/11 attacks.” Today, British intelligence officials are saying that former Vice President Dick Cheney “nearly destroyed” efforts to bring the bomb plotters to justice by ordering the arrest of a suspect before all the evidence was gathered...


Andy Hayman, who served as the Metropolitan Police’s Assistant Commissioner Specialist Operations while the terror attacks were being planned, writes today of the Cheney-ordered arrest of Rauf, “[It] hampered our evidence-gathering and placed us in Britain under intolerable pressure.”

That'll be a nice little something to recall the next time Dick's on your teevee blithering about how awesome he and Georgie were at fighting terrorism.

And, finally, we have a quick trio of media assclowns with which to wash down Happy Hour. Warning: brain bleach will be necessary for this first item:

Former Rep. Mark Foley (R-FL), whose resignation following lewd instant messages with teenage House pages was one of the final things to bring down the House Republicans in 2006, is making a comeback -- as a local talk radio commentator in West Palm Beach, with his own show called "Inside the Mind of Mark Foley."

Eeew. Just, eeew.

I think we need some burning stupid to cauterize that wound. Here's some classic Glenn Beck:

Here's one for the memory banks from Bill Moyers Journal, September 2008, talking about the rise of hate talk on right wing radio, and Glenn Beck saying he'd like to kill Michael Moore along with some other right wing screechers doing their best to incite violence in the name of keeping their ratings up.

GLENN BECK: "I'm thinking about killing Michael Moore and I'm wondering if I could kill him myself, or if I would need to hire somebody to do it. No, I think I could. I think he could be looking me in the eye, you know, and I could just be choking the life out of him. Is this wrong?"

Before you ask "Is he that stupid?", keep in mind that his scary black militants were actually a dance troupe. And he's now busy getting his listeners to pray for his protection against the scary evil Van Jones/Podestra/Soros elite libruls.

His insanity is wearing off on Hannity, who has now declared war on the President's advisers:

Fox News personality Sean Hannity was one of the rally’s keynote speakers, and he took the opportunity to gloat about Van Jones’ resignation. He vowed to the audience that he would get rid of “every other one” of Obama’s so-called czars:

HANNITY: Do you want another czar?


HANNITY: I don’t think so. By the way, we got rid of one, and my job starting tomorrow night is to get rid of every other one. I promise you that!


Hannity’s pledge is part of a larger right-wing campaign. Glenn Beck has announced that Cass Sunstein, Mark Lloyd, and Carol Browner are his next targets and asked his followers to dig up all the dirt they can on them.

They're happy little tools of the Con party, oh, yes indeedy. We'll see if Obama's fighter enough when the momentum really builds and Faux News and the Cons try to shut down the government entirely.

These people have only gotten worse since the Clinton years. Our only hope is that they'll eventually implode under the weight of their own dumbfuckery...

No comments: