25 September, 2009

Happy Hour Discurso

Today's opining on the public discourse.

Rowan Atkinson did a skit called "A Warm Welcome," wherein he played Satan welcoming people to hell. There were so many fornicators that he was forced to split them into groups.

I bring this up because I'm forced to do the same with stupid people. Alas, far too many of them are politicians.

Let us begin with the Global Warming Denialism Society. Sen. James Inhofe is, of course, one of the senior members. Here he is in all his glory on C-Span's Washington Journal:
At the end of the interview, Inhofe explained what guides his views:

CALLER: Yes, I agree with the Senator on what he says about the climate change. I believe that the world is just changing like it usually does. [...]

INHOFE: I think he’s right. I think what he’s saying is God’s still up there. We’re going through these cycles. … I really believe that a lot of people are in denial who want to hang their hat on the fact, that they believe is a fact, that man-made gases, anthropogenic gases, are causing global warming. The science really isn’t there.

A man denying global warming because "God's still up there" talking about science not really being there... that's absurdist performance art, that is.

When they can't convince folks that global warming's not happening because God says so, they're trying to scare-monger everybody into paralysis by saying combating climate change will be horribly expensive. Paul Krugman reminds us of the simple fact they're basing their bullshit on lies (h/t):
So where do the apocalyptic warnings about the cost of climate-change policy come from?

Are the opponents of cap-and-trade relying on different studies that reach fundamentally different conclusions? No, not really. It’s true that last spring the Heritage Foundation put out a report claiming that Waxman-Markey would lead to huge job losses, but the study seems to have been so obviously absurd that I’ve hardly seen anyone cite it.

Instead, the campaign against saving the planet rests mainly on lies.

Thus, last week Glenn Beck — who seems to be challenging Rush Limbaugh for the role of de facto leader of the G.O.P. — informed his audience of a “buried” Obama administration study showing that Waxman-Markey would actually cost the average family $1,787 per year. Needless to say, no such study exists.

But we shouldn’t be too hard on Mr. Beck. Similar — and similarly false — claims about the cost of Waxman-Markey have been circulated by many supposed experts.


So here’s the bottom line: The claim that climate legislation will kill the economy deserves the same disdain as the claim that global warming is a hoax. The truth about the economics of climate change is that it’s relatively easy being green.
But it's not easy if you're David "Diapers" Vitter, and you have to protect all those contributions polluters flood your coffers with:
Sen. David Vitter (R-LA) is blocking an EPA nomination because he wants the agency to delay establishing safety procedures for formaldehyde. Meanwhile, major emitters of the dangerous chemical have been generous contributors to the senator's reelection campaign.
So, he's in bed with prostitutes, polluters and.... wonder who the third p will be?

Moving on to our next group, "Craziest Cons in Congress," we find Rep. Steve King going for the crown:
In the ongoing contest to see which House Republican is the single nuttiest, Rep. Steve King (R) of Iowa is making another run at the title.

The Madman from the Heartland has had quite a week.


He kept things going yesterday on the House floor, standing alongside Socialist Realist art to argue that President Obama is the leader of ACORN.

Today, however, was my personal favorite. King is apparently angry -- it's not clear why -- that President Obama is changing U.S. missile-defense policies in Europe. The White House is scrapping a Bush-era policy that didn't make sense, for a more effective anti-missile technology, with a better track record, and more flexibility, which will be implemented sooner. The move was endorsed by the Secretary of Defense and backed by the unanimous judgment of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

King initially said the president is honoring the "Neville Chamberlain school of diplomacy or capitulation." The Iowa Republican added, "I was thinking about the situation of how it was that Hitler actually negotiated with the Russians for a while. It ended up with Poland being divided and a global war as a result."

So, as far as King is concerned, Obama is both Chamberlain and Hitler?

Next we'll be hearing how Obama's just like Genghis Khan. Mark my words.

Why is King stepping up the insanity? Perhaps he's jealous of Rep. Michele Bachmann's action figure:

Look out, Barbie -- here comes the Michele Bachmann action figure!

As Minnesota Public Radio reports, the increased fame of the second-term Congresswoman had spurred a Connecticut company, Herobuilders, to manufacture a new posable toy in her image.

Somehow, I don't think the representatives will understand this is a joke at their expense.

We have only one contender for Dumbfuck Governor o' the Day right now (although Greg Sargent says Rick Perry's possibly on about secession again, I refuse to visit the pages of the Weekly Standard on a night when I'm already pressed for time). Trust Gov. Jindal to always keep his place in line:
Yesterday, the White House held a conference call between Vice President Biden and governors of U.S. states and territories. The purpose of the call, according to the White House pool report, was to “exhort the states to collect and submit quarterly numbers of jobs created and saved by the American Reinvestment and Recovery Act by the deadline of Oct. 10.” Forty-nine state governors or their representatives joined the call. The one person who skipped it? Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal (R).


Jindal has been one of the most outspoken critics of the Recovery Act — at the same time he goes around the state and takes credit for the federal dollars he was handing out.
And the bonus fuckery:

A Jindal appointee has even blocked the state transportation department from placing signs indicating that projects were funded by the stimulus:

State projects financed with federal stimulus dollars will have no signs that say that, said Mark Lambert, spokesman for the state Department of Transportation and Development.

Lambert said the decision was made by DOTD Secretary William Ankner.

“He directed that signs not go up,” Lambert said of Ankner.

Lambert noted, however, that “road and bridge work paid for with state surplus dollars included signs that pointed out the source of the funds.” His explanation was that the state signs were cheaper.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. But, alas, they are not.

Our final group is a huge one - the Right-Wing Hysterics. Observe them in full hue-and-cry against Muslims praying at the Capitol:
It's gone largely under the media radar, but in Washington today, tens of thousands of Muslim Americans are expected to gather to pray as part of the "Islam on Capitol Hill" event. To say that the religious right is concerned about this would be something of an understatement.


The event has no stated political agenda, and no elected officials are expected to attend. Abdellah has simply called on people to come to the Capitol to "pray for peace and understanding between America and its Muslim community."

So, what's the problem? In reality, there isn't one. But in the active imaginations of religious right leaders, the "Islam on Capitol Hill" gathering is grounds for quite a tantrum.

Right Wing Watch has been chronicling the reactions from Christian right leaders all week, and the panic has become more palpable as the week has progressed. The Family Research Council believes today's participants may "pray for shari'ah law to come to America," so Christians' efforts to convert Muslims should "accelerate." Wallbuilders' David Barton warned that today's event undermines Christianity's place at the top of the heap in America. The National Day of Prayer Task Force warned of "a dark spiritual intent and a coming day of great trouble to America." A group called Operation Save America intends to send members to the Hill to wage some kind of spiritual battle. A variety of religious right leaders quickly created The Ad Hoc Committee of Americans for Transparency and Honesty in Religion to demand that organizers of today's event denounce acts of terrorism.

"I don't understand. This is a simple event. All we want to do is pray," Abdellah said. "In America, name one event where Christians tried to pray and Muslims disrupted it."

Poor Abdellah. Poor innocent git, expecting brotherly love from a bunch of rabid Bible bashers. He's got to realize that right-wing Christian groups amiably allowing Muslims to pray in public, too, is about as likely as Osama bin Laden issuing a video saying that despite our differences, he actually loves America and hopes it has a nice day.

Which, in turn, is about as likely as Teabaggers not acting like a rabid bunch of buffoons:

One People's Project has the full-length version of this video, taken from the big 912 rally in Washington, D.C., showing a middle-aged white man and his Asian wife chasing after and harassing a trio of black people -- primarily two teenagers and an adult guardian (possibly their mother) who were selling "Don't Tread on Me" flags along the long grassy mall.

As you can see, the man -- who identifies himself as Tim Jones -- shouts after them: "ACORN! These people are ACORN!!! They are frauds!!! ACORN is fraud!!! Obama sucks! This woman sells signs for profit of ACORN!!"

It attracts more harassers, and it verges on the point of an outbreak of violence when the D.C. bicycle police show up and break up the scene.

But really, folks, they're not racists! Even though they inexplicably didn't run after any white vendors screaming "ACORN!!1!11!"

And, finally, the creme de la stupid:

A new birther infomercial running on a CBS affiliate in Texas and elsewhere around the country tells viewers a "got a birth certificate?" bumper sticker can be theirs for the low price of $30.

The 28-minute program -- quite possibly the first ever birthermercial -- features community access production values, heavy use of foreboding strings soundtrack, and standard-issue Birther ideology.

For a $30 contribution, viewers also get a fax sent in their name to the 50 state attorneys general and Attorney General Eric Holder demanding that President Obama produce his real birth certificate.

A Birthermercial. My darlings, I do believe the right-wing should have taken the red pill, but I'm afraid they're so far gone in their little fantasy world they'll never see reality again.

At least they'll be 30 bucks poorer for their dumbfuckery, though.

Fools... money.... parted. Hmm. Think we should start a business, my darlings?


Andre Vienne said...

The Free Market demands we sell crazy birther things to them for profit, and donate the proceeds to whatever the hell we want. Clearly.

Anonymous said...

Sending Christians to counter the Muslim prayers.

Am I the only one visualising some sort of mass AD&D Cleric smackdown battle?
"It's Rush- quick- Turn undead"
"Protection from Evil/Imam"
"Eat 'Insect plague' infidel"
"More crucifixes, tell the armoury we need more crucifixes"