17 May, 2008

Happy Hour Discurso

Today's opining on the public discourse.

Dems did it! WOOOO!

Hans von Spakovsky, as a top political appointee in Bush’s Justice Department, was a leading player in what McClatchy straightforwardly calls the administration’s “vote-suppression agenda.” When it came to voter disenfranchisement, von Spakovsky was a reliable member of Team Bush.

As a reward, Bush has tried to promote von Spakovsky to a six-year term on the Federal Election Commission, which has touched off a major fight with Senate Democrats, and effectively shut down the FEC altogether in an election year.

Yesterday, von Spakovsky withdrew from consideration, handing Dems a key victory.

For those of you just joining us, Hans von Spakovsky is the genius who gutted the Department of Justice's voting rights section:

The point to remember here is that von Spakovsky has been at the heart of the indefensible, right-wing effort to prevent eligible voters from participating in elections. Tom DeLay’s re-redistricting scheme that violated the Voting Rights Act? Von Spakovsky approved it. Georgia’s re-redistricting scheme to disenfranchise black voters? Von Spakovsky approved that, too. The conservative campaign to fabricate an epidemic of voter fraud? Von Spakovsky helped create the scheme and execute it. When a U.S. Attorney in Minnesota discovered that Native American voters were being disenfranchised? It was Von Spakovsky who shut down the investigation.

This, of course, made him uniquely qualified for a term on the FEC in Bush's eyes. I'm sure Georgie thought Hans was the answer to all of his prayers: "Lord, please give me an FEC appointee who's really good at voter suppression and won't stop at anything to politicize his office. In other words, get me the most dishonest asshole you can find. Heh heh heh."

He forgot to ask God for a more malleable Democratic majority. The Dems took one look at what was on offer and dug their heels in. It's one thing to ask a bunch of Democrats to approve a conservative appointee. It's a whole 'nother to ask them to approve a conservative appointee who so blatantly uses his position to ensure voters who won't vote Republicon get stomped. Put it like this: Bush was asking them to put a prolific rapist in charge of protecting the bodily integrity and sexual choices of women.

Of course, the Republicons won't admit that Hans didn't get the nod because even the doggiest of Blue Dog Democrats couldn't possibly swallow the rancid bit of ejaculate Bush was attempting to force down their throats. Nope. It's because of this:

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), who had fought for von
Spakovsky's approval as part of a bipartisan bloc of nominees, said Democrats had "set a troubling precedent" by blocking his nomination. He said he hoped a new selection would not be treated in the same "deplorable manner."

"Looking to the November elections, it is imperative that we have a fully functioning, bipartisan FEC. New nominees should be voted on and confirmed without any more political games," McConnell said.

Well, McConnell would know all about that, wouldn't he? Who's known for playing political games and treating appointees in a deplorable manner?

That's right. His very own gang of tantrum-throwers.

Which is why it warms my heart to see them getting spanked by their very own paddle.

Speaking of being spanked with a paddle, it's time to bring out the solid oak with the holes. Washington Post, pull down your pants and assume the position:

Today, The Washington Post has invited the very same Kathleen Parker onto its Op-Ed page to share her views on the Democratic candidates, and specifically to opine on the matter of John Edwards' endorsement this week of Obama. She abandons her White Pride argument today in favor of the important and Serious claim that Obama and Edwards are gay girls.

The Post promotes her Op-Ed on its front page this way: "Kathleen Parker: Two Democratic Pretty Boys."

The spanking continues over at Sadly, No!

It’s tough to list all the things that make this column so mind-crushingly stupid, but let’s give it a shot:
  • Parker begins the column by calling Edwards and Obama fags.
  • Then, not having the courage to stand by this novel and poignant insight, she claims that it wasn’t her idea to call them fags, but was instead the idea of one of Edwards’ advisers. But hey, they’re still gay homo fruits who like to take it up the homobutt.
  • Next, she pulls out the oldest trick in the Wingnut Punditry Bible: she lectures us about what Real Americans think! Never mind that she’s spent her entire working life on the Wingnut Welfare circuit - she’s got her hand on the pulse of The People, baby!
  • And what do Real Americans think, you ask? Why, they’re apparently super-duper happy about the state of the country! Even though, like, 85% of them are dissatisfied with the direction of the country. And even though Bush’s approval rating stands at a sterling 28%. And even though the Republicans just lost a goddamn seat in freaking Mississippi.

To sum up: the WaPo just published a fact-free op-ed whose only “substantive” points are that Edwards and Obama are TEH GHEY OMG LOL IT IS TOO FUNNY FOREVER.

I'll be unlimbering my Special Deluxe Ass-Reamer 3000 later this evening. Believe it or not, Glenn Greenwald and Sadly, No! barely reddened the bottoms of these bottomless fuckwits. They've left me plenty to paddle.

Lastly, dday over at Digby's Hullaballoo points out why a Carnival of the Elitist Bastards has never been more necessary:

The worst thing the conservative movement has foisted on the country is a collapse of historical memory. Our civic education here is not so robust, and our civic knowledge of history is worse. This has given wide latitude for conservatives to create their own reality, and jabber away with "facts" that consist of shibboleths and catch phrases, which by now have been ripped of all meaning outside the Manichean "good" and "bad." That's what we saw with that shameful appearance on Hardball. That's what we saw by the President yesterday. That's what we saw from McCain in that interview. And that, sadly, is a part of America.

Read the column. Know that we have a fuck of a lot of work cut out for us in countering this tsunami of willful ignorance. It's not only necessary to restore America's fondness for knowing really real things, we're going to have to work overtime to get that knowledge front and center.

It's time to reclaim reality, my darlings.

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