21 May, 2008

Isn't That Up to the Iranians?

If I didn't care about the future of my country, I'd vote for McCain just for the entertainment value. He's a bottomless well of inanity.

Case in point: his recent statements on Iran.

Time Magazine's Joe Klein, who has been taken to the woodshed more than once by Glenn Greenwald, indulged in some journalism that should earn him a cookie. He's indulged in some political snark that should earn him a trip to Disneyland. Go read the column for the snark: we're dealing only in the business here:

On Friday, I promised to check into whether Obama had ever said that he would negotiate--specifically, by name--with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Indeed, according to the crack Time Magazine research department and the Obama campaign, he never has. He did say that he would negotiate with the Iranian leadership--but, on matters of foreign policy and Iran's nuclear program, the guy in charge is the Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei. As of today, John McCain was still accusing Obama of wanting to negotiate with Ahmadinejad. Why doesn't the McCain campaign and other assorted Republicans ever accuse Obama of wanting to negotiate with Khamenei? Well, because Khamenei isn't quite the flagrant anti-Semite Ahmadinejad is...and, as we keep hearing, Obama has a Jewish

Ye gods, Joe, what's wrong with you? Fact-checking? Accurate reporting? Has Faux News taught you nothing? This looks suspiciously like reporting, something many bloggers were convinced you'd given up on.

I checked his facts, my darlings, and he is absolutely correct: Ahmadinejad isn't the totalitarian leader of Iran that he's portrayed to be by the so-wrong Right. (As to Obama never mentioning Ahmadinejad by name, I don't have a crack research department, so I'll have to take that one on trust, along with never having seen Obama quoted as saying he'd negotiate with Ahmadinejad. Don't burn me, Joe.)

John McCain, on the other hand, doesn't seem to have access to Wikipedia, and in another startling episode of actual journalism, Joe Klein - the same Joe Klein who was soundly beaten for dumbassitude by Glenn Greenwald just a week ago - caught him out:

If you're unable to watch this amazing performance by George Bush's trained monkey and wanna-be successor, you can still enjoy the fuckwittery courtesy of Carpetbagger's most excellent summary:

So, Klein, to his credit, asked McCain about this at a press conference, inquiring as to why McCain keeps accusing Obama of reaching out to Ahmadinejad when that hasn’t actually happened. When Klein noted that it’s Khamenei who is “in charge of Iranian foreign policy and also in charge of the nuclear program,” McCain said he respectfully disagreed.

After noting Ahmadinejad having spoken to the United Nations, McCain concluded, “I mean, the fact is he’s the acknowledged leader of that country and you may disagree, but that’s a uh, that’s your right to do so, but I think if you asked any average American who the leader of Iran is, I think they’d know.”

Savor this for a moment. Verily, this is the Republicon understanding of reality. Allow me to enumerate it for you:

1. Objective facts, such as who the chief executive of a country is, can be disagreed with.
2. You have a right to disagree over said facts.
3. The average American determines what reality is.
4. By average American, of course, Republicons mean the average dumbfuck who's stupid enough to parrot what the Republicons want reality to be. Average Americans who know what the actual facts are need not apply.

And this batshit insane bullshit is spouted by McCain with an air of overwhelming arrogance. You can tell he's impatient with Joe Klein and his "facts." The resemblance between McCain and Bush in that video is eerie, if you're not immediately overwhelmed by the resemblance between McCain and an evil-fucker version of Wallace.

I reiterate: if so much wasn't at stake, I'd totally vote for the assclown. At least I'd never run out of material. It's too the American President, unlike the Iranian version, actually has executive power: if it didn't, McCain's disastrous views of foreign policy, health care, the economy, and reality in general wouldn't have any impact on the well-being of the country if he were elected.

Alas, since that's manifestly not the case, I'm going to have to vote for the guy who knows what the fuck he's doing, and give entertainment value a pass.


NP said...

"John McCain, on the other hand, doesn't seem to have access to Wikipedia...."

Many times, the elderly are wary of technology like the Internet and telephones. You can't blame him--all those new-fangled gadgets are a little overwhelming when he's used to the peace and quiet of an evening at home with the misses after dinner with the Flintstones.

Efrique said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Efrique said...

1. Objective facts, such as who the chief executive of a country is, can be disagreed with.

"Reality has a well-known liberal bias" - S. Colbert

That's why true conservatives only read Conservapedia, which is immune to dangerously biased reality.