12 May, 2008

My Darlings, We've Been PWND

So I pull up Sitemeter tonight to see what my blog's been getting up to while I'm otherwise occupied, and I come across a referral from a site I've never heard of before:


The hell....? Of course, I click the link. And get bludgeoned with this:

Elitists feel no guilt when they attack the fragile self-regard of the masses by using words of more than two syllables. They feel no shame when they display knowledge which has no other use than making the
average person feel inferior. They are a danger to the nation and shouldn't be allowed to express their perverse thoughts in public. Indeed, they can't even be considered citizens and shouldn't be allowed to vote.

But they recognize no limits on their arrogance and insist that they have the right to speak up, just like normal people. One example of such brazen swaggering pomposity is the upcoming Carnival of the Elitist Bastards, which will be hosted at En Tequila Es Verdad.



And then she calls for a boycott?

I call on you to boycott this so-called Carnival of the Elitist Bastards. Ignore the elitists and let them fade away in ignominy. Show them the superiority of the average American; show them what self-esteem is really all about.

The sarcasm. Sublime. The snark. Exquisite.

My darlings, I think Connie M. (Catana)'s paid us quite a compliment. Add to that John Pieret's beautiful, rousing write-up, and, well, wow.

We haven't even got a submission date or a button and we're already making an impression!


george.w said...

That is some extra-sharp snark there! Tasty on crackers:

"Even worse, a lot of them base their self-esteem on their education and their intelligence. There can be no greater sin against the millions who are the proud products of our schools and have no use for something as useless as knowledge. "

I hang my head in elitist shame... *snicker*

Matt said...

Oh, that is one beautiful piece. And you know that the anti-elitist, typically crippled by congenital incomprehension of satire, will eat this up. They'll naturally fail to read anything else that Catana has to write and she will become the matron queen of their cause. Brilliant.

So, how will we know when the boycott has begun? By the deafening clatter of anti-elitist neural hardware falling to the floor. Yum. Bring it on.

Dana Hunter said...

After reading her other posts, I pity the bugger who takes her in all seriousness. We'll need a dustpan for the anti-elitist neural hardware when we're through, a baggie for the remains after Catana finishes them off, and a few extra boxes of crackers. Hee hee.

Efrique said...

Anyone who reads that stuff without a sense of irony will doubtless be sorely disappointed by what I write - not a single "let them eat brioches" in the whole screed.

Cobalt said...

Laughter is echoing through my house right now. This is beautiful.