16 September, 2008

Jesus is My Laundry Detergent

Every night during the drive home for work, I swivel my head to see what kind of claptrap the local frothing Christian readerboard wants me to believe now.

Tonight, they would like me to know that Jesus is my laundry detergent:

JESUS CHRIST
IS ALL

And, my goodness, they must be right. It says so right on the bottle:



See? All. Mighty. Almighty.

So... Am I desecrating the Lord when I use the All Mighty to clean the litter box? Am I still allowed to recycle the bottle? And why hasn't Jesus been able to get rid of those stupid annoying armpit stains on my white hoodie?

I should drop by and ask. Who wants to go with me to snap reaction shots?

5 comments:

NP said...

I know I'm just asking for it with this comment, but I can't resist: can God make a stain He can't wash out?

Dana Hunter said...

Plant tongue firmly in cheek, shout "YES HE CAN!"

LOL.

Speaking hypothetically, an omnipotent being can do whatever he wants, including making a stain he can't wash out. But I'm sure there'll be a schism in the Church of All between those who say he can and those who say he can't. Then there's those that would say he can, but couldn't, but wouldn't, and it's all up to free will anyway. Then books would be written with excruitiating theological arguments on the divinity of stains. And then some doofus would see Jesus in my armpit...

I think I have a story here. ;-)

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Hank said...

Now I know what priest use to get the smell of little boys off their vestments! Jesus Freakin H Christ indeed!

Efrique said...

hmm. Is that comment spam up there?