We'll begin by spanking the Cons, by way of getting the Smack-o-Matic warmed up for the White House's tender bottom.
Don't be deceived by the Cons who are now emerging from the woodwork claiming they're all about reform. Steve Benen has their number: "This is what is generally referred to as a 'sucker's bet.' Congressional Republicans have spent every waking moment for the last nine months trying to destroy the Obama presidency, and kill reform. Now, perhaps worried about being blamed by the public for obstructionism, we suddenly see Republican lawmakers sound receptive notes." If Dems start chasing that siren song, we're going to see health care reform get its hull ripped out on the shoals.
If you want to know whether they really intend to work on reform in good faith, look no further than Rep. Bill "Health Reform is Unconstitutional!" Posey. Or Sen. Mel "Choices Good, Actual Reform Bad" Martinez. You can't negotiate in good faith with people who a) refuse to negotiate in good faith, b) see your defeat as their only path to victory, and c) are, for the most part, batshit fucking insane.
Just for shits and giggles, ask them why, if government-run health care is soooo horrible, do they choose to have their major surgery performed at government-run hospitals. I'm sure the answer will be an instructive exercise in pathetic justifications.
It appears that Cons have successfully lobbied ABC for the chance to yawp after the President's address on health care reform. I can't wait to see who they choose. I hope it's every bit as awesome as Bobby Jindal's little "volcano monitoring? Who needs volcano monitoring?!" speech.
Meanwhile, Georgia Cons have decided their state don't need no stinkin' health care reform - even though one-third of Georgians are uninsured.
Moving on to our ostensible allies, Sen. Ben Nelson wants us all to know that the public option will be the death of health care reform. Considering health care reform without the public option would be a horrific mistake, I think his brain has been warped by too much health industry money.
The Smack-o-Matic seems good and warm now. Let us climb the steps to the White House, where the executive branch has decided to dabble in writing health care reform legislation. Mr. President, let me save you the effort: there's a perfectly good H.E.L.P. Committee bill already written. Of course, it has the public option in it, which you seem to have become allergic to. Why else omit all the poll results showing strong support for the public option in your little feel-good polling memo?
On a conference call with House progressives, Obama claimed to understand how serious they were about not backing a bill that lacks a strong public option. Then he asked them how willing they are to compromise said public option. Add that spectacularly stupid question to the fact that House liberals have largely been left out of the loop on this process, and that the White House is telling liberal groups not to waste money advocating for the public option, and one gets the feeling that maybe, just possibly, the President's not serious at all about keeping a strong public option alive.
Mr. President, do you want a primary challenger? Is that what you're trying to tell us?
Keep this shit up, and we'll be more than happy to oblige.