02 September, 2009

Happy Hour Discurso

Today's opining on the public discourse.

Another day, another ridiculous right wing conspiracy theory:
Today, the right-wing site The New Ledger has a report about House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s (D-CA) “problem” with “patriotic music”:

If you’ve ever been stuck on hold with a congressional office in the past, at least you’ve been able to enjoy some good patriotic music, as opposed to the lilting tones of generic smooth jazz that have been driving elevator users insane for decades. For years, congressional offices have played patriotic anthems as the background music during hold times.

Not any more. After we were startled by the hold music when we called a House office recently, sources on Capitol Hill informed us this week that the Democratic House leadership has made a sweeping decision that congressional offices now have the options of “smooth jazz” elevator music or no music at all.

The post was picked up by various right-wing blogs. Rep. Fred Upton (R-MI) has even sent a letter to House Chief Administrative Officer (CAO) Daniel Beard — who, The New Leader points out, “reports to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi” — objecting to the change.


Here’s what happened: Congressional offices have traditionally been able to have a choice of music or no music. The CD that had been in the congressional muzak system for “a long time” was a “patriotic tunes CD.” The CAO’s office wanted to test a program giving people a choice of multiple CDs and decided to try out a jazz CD because it’s “what a lot of companies have when you’re on hold.” However, based on the feedback they received, they simply decided to go back to the old system.

And another conspiracy theory bites the dust. Don't these idiots have anything better to do?

You're right. Probably not.

In somewhat related news, it appears that Cons aren't Con enough for their base:

That GOP base is sure a tough crowd to please.

A new Rasmussen poll finds that only 18% of Republican voters believe the party's elected officials have done a good job representing their views. Also, 55% of GOP voters say the average Republican in Congress is more liberal than the average Republican.

That last bit, frankly, is frightening, considering the average Con is ultra-Con. Geez.

The Chamber of Commerce, coming to what passes for their senses, has reached an important conclusion:

Last week the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, the industry federation that calls itself the “voice of business,” called for a “trial on the science of climate change” that would act as “the Scopes monkey trial of the 21st century” in order to discredit scientific studies about global warming. Now, Bill Kovacs, the Chamber’s senior vice president for environment, technology and regulatory affairs who originally called for the trial, has admitted that it was “inappropriate” to use the Scopes analogy:

My “Scopes monkey” analogy was inappropriate and detracted from my ability to effectively convey the Chamber’s position on this important issue.

Y'see, comparing their position to the Scopes trial implies they're a bunch of batshit crazy religious fundamentalists denying the obvious truth, when actually they're a bunch of batshit crazy greedy fucktards denying the obvious truth. You can see where there might have been some confusion there.

For anyone wondering where Lou Dobbs plans to spend his time this September, look no further than hate group rallies:

Today, Media Matters for America President Eric Burns issued an open letter to CNN President Jonathan Klein regarding prime-time anchor Lou Dobbs' scheduled appearance on September 15 and 16 at the "Hold Their Feet to the Fire" legislative advocacy event and rally sponsored by the anti-immigration organization Federation for American Immigration Reform (FAIR). FAIR, an organization that has been designated a "hate group" by the Southern Poverty Law Center and that has been sharply criticized for its racially-tinged ads, was founded by John Tanton, who has a long history of making racist statements and espousing racist beliefs.

A FAIR press release announced that Dobbs will broadcast his show from the rally and will be joined by 47 conservative talk radio hosts.

But, y'know, they're not racists or anything.

Oh, CNN, when will you send Lou Dobbs the way of Glenn Beck? Your lost credibility would like to come home.

The next time Cons start screaming about taxpayers paying for Obama's occasional nights out, clue them in about how taxpayers are paying for Bobby Jindal's religious fun:

A report by The Advocate in Louisiana finds that state taxpayers have been paying for Gov. Bobby Jindal (R) to go to church…in a helicopter:

In May, June and July, there was rarely a Sunday when the governor didn’t board a taxpayer-funded helicopter to attend church services in far-flung parts of the state. He traveled by helicopter to churches less frequently in March and April. Over five months, Jindal took more than three dozen helicopter trips. Fourteen were to attend church services, according to state records. [...]

At least two aides usually accompanied him along with his security detail and State Police pilots. The public pays their salaries as well as the fuel and upkeep for the helicopter.

The helicopter that the governor uses the most costs $1,200 an hour to operate — about $45,000 for five months of church visits.

But, y'know, the rules are somehow different for Cons. Especially if they're giving the finger to the separation of church and state.

Tonight, my darlings, we're raising a rare toast to Republicans. Moderate Virginia Republicans haven't taken well to wanna-be gov Bob McDonnell's attempts to walk back his frothing fundie thesis. And they conclude their bashing thusly:

A reporter asked the group about a natural response that the McDonnell campaign could potentially have: That they are embittered RINO's who were rebuffed by the party. Said Potts: "My response would be that the fastest growing segment of American voters are independents, and people who believe that you govern from the middle."

Waddell answered: "I think we are the real Republicans, I think they are the RINO's. And real Republicans believe in less government, not more government interference, especially in people's private lives. So I think we are the real Republicans, and they are the people taking the party down."

A hearty salud to that, amigos. I couldn't agree with you more.

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