29 August, 2009

Happy Hour Discurso

Today's opining on the public discourse.

Tonight's typos are not courtesy of the kitty, but courtesy of the fact that I've hiked a good many miles today. I is tired. But since stupid never rests, neither shall I - at least not until I've given the stupid a good several whacks with the Smack-o-Matic.

And right now, although it's a stiff competition, no one is more fucking stupid than Idaho state Rep. Rex Rammell:

Despite coming under widespread criticism for hisjoke” about hunting President Obama, Idaho Republican gubernatorial candidate Rex Rammell wrote a tweet this morning doubling down on his own tasteless humor:

Rammell is facing fire from allies in his own state.
I hope he's facing fired - as in, this being his Macaca moment. A person who does not apologize after making an inexcusable joke about the assassination of the President and then doesn't have the sense to back down, but instead makes another inexcusable joke, has no business even running for office, much less occupying one.

I didn't think many people were more clueless than Glenn Beck, but he sure is trying. Lucky for him Beck's going exponential on the dumbfuckery:

Yesterday was especially astounding. He argued on the air, for example, that President Obama intends to create a "civilian national security force," which will be similar to Hitler's SS and Saddam Hussein. Apparently, this has something to do with AmeriCorps, which Beck initially said has a $500 billion budget. (He corrected himself later in the show, though his guest didn't blink when he originally made the claim.)

Towards the end of the show, after scrawling on a variety of boards and pieces of paper, Beck summarized his key observation. On a chalkboard, Beck had written the words, "Obama," "Left Internationalist," "Graft," "ACORN Style Organizations," "Revolution," and "Hidden Agenda." If you circle some of the first letters of these important words, Beck says, it spells "OLIGARH." Beck told his viewers there's only one letter missing. If you're thinking that letter is "c," you're not medicated enough to understand Beck's show.

The missing letter is "y," because the word he hoped to spell is "OLIGARHY." No, that word doesn't exist in the English language, but that's probably because the dictionary was written by some communist community organizer who wants to keep Glenn Beck and his viewers down.

The quote of the day, however, came towards the end: "I'm tired of being a sheep. I'm tired of being a victim. I'm tired of being pushed around. You know what? The gloves come off."

That's a great idea, Glenn. It'll be much easier to slip that nice white straitjacket on you if you're not wearing bulky gloves.

Oh, and Glenn? When you're already in trouble with advertisers for calling the President a racist, it might be a good idea not to follow up with shit like this:

Eric Boehlert at Media Matters wonders if Glenn Beck has forgotten that the entire reason he is in hot water with advertisers revolves around the fact that he called the President of the United States a "racist" and someone who has "a deep-seated hatred of white people".


That's because, if you watch what he's been doing so far, what seems to be emerging is that he is basically building a case justifying his declaration that Obama is a racist who hates white people.

This became crystal-clear midway through his Fox News program Thursday night, during a segment featuring ex-Democrat now complete loser Patrick Caddell and the ever-vivacious Michelle Malkin to heartily agree with whatever craziness came burbling out of his mouth.

They were all gathered to talk about the "army" of "thugs" that President Obama is planning to gather under the combined umbrellas of ACORN, SEIU, Color of Change and whatever other insidious "radicals" Beck believes he's uncovered.

And what does this "army" of "thugs" look like?

Why, they're all black people, of course.

Watch the segment and observe the examples he offers of the kinds of "thugs" he says Obama intends to incorporate into his army: some gun-toting Black Panthers, a shot from a Louis Farrakhan sermon before a Nation of Islam gathering, and a group of young black men doing military-style exercises.

This, as he explained earlier in the show, will be "Obama's SS."

So we now can see the arc of Beck's thesis this week: He was right to call President Obama an anti-white racist because he is this very moment forming an army of militant black thugs to take over your white neighborhoods and threaten your children and impose a liberal fascist state.

Or something like that.

If only. Maybe the liberal fascist state would make Glenn Beck go away.

Luckily for Glenn Beck, a group of Texas fucktards are doing their best to make him seem almost sane:

An organization calling itself the “Texas Nationalist Movement” plans to march on the Texas capitol tomorrow to demand “Sovereignty or Secession”:

Texans will converge on Austin to deliver a petition to Restore America by Demanding our Sovereignty or we will be forced to call a vote for Secession.


We must stand up and be counted or we will find ourselves in another government. Either we restore America, we will live in a Marxist dictatorship, or we will secede and start over again.

The organization’s petition echoes language used by other “tenther” activists who believe that everything from Social Security to Medicare to the federal highway system violates the Tenth Amendment. According to the petition, Texas officials must either “immediately move for the restoration of the complete and unadulterated Sovereignty of Texas, explicitly adhering to the 10th Amendment wording of the U.S. Constitution,” or “move immediately for complete Secession from the United States of America.” In light of Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s recent expression of support for Texas secession, the petition could receive a friendly hearing.

With apologies to my Texas readers and all Texas liberals suffering the stupidity, my inclination is to say, "Fucking secede already." Then we wouldn't have to worry about Texas's school board fuckery and the potential for them to ship a Bush clone our way. We'll set up a program to resettle our liberal friend in much better surroundings. And my readers should always remember that I have an airbed and a living room. We'll take care of you.

Just please make the insane idiots go away.

Fuck, here comes another one:

President Obama should fire Attorney General Eric Holder for appointing a special prosecutor to investigate potential CIA abuses of terrorist detainees, former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-Ga.) wrote Friday.

Gingrich, in an op-ed for the Washington Examiner, said that the president should dismiss Holder unless the attorney general resigns.

"In the latest skirmish in the Democratic Party's war on the CIA, Attorney General Eric Holder has failed to uphold this fundamental public trust. And for that, there should be consequences," Gingrich wrote.

Let me get this straight, Newt. You want Obama to fire Holder because he's doing his fucking job? Seriously? I mean, this probe is limited to those who went above and beyond the lawbreaking the Bush regime authorized, and you're saying Holder should be fired because he's appointed a prosecutor to investigate that lawbreaking? You're saying the Justice Department's supposed to turn a blind eye to (extra) torture and murder?

Wow. You're an idiot.

It's just too bad the MSM chattering class won't realize what a fucktard you are. They're too busy pushing McCain as Teddy Kennedy's replacement:

On CNN yesterday afternoon, reflecting on Ted Kennedy's legacy as one of the giants of the U.S. Senate, Wolf Blitzer pondered who might someday emerge as a legislative leader with Kennedy's stature and success.

"A lot of people think it might be someone else who sought the presidency, lost and decided, 'You know what, my life's work will now be a senator' and that is Senator McCain, who has been a very good friend to Senator Kennedy," Blitzer said. "We'll see if that becomes the passion that became the passion of Senator Kennedy after he lost to Jimmy Carter in that Democratic presidential nomination back in 1980."

What's more, as Faiz Shakir noted, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution's Cynthia Tucker also argued yesterday, "John McCain could be the Senate's new Ted Kennedy." Tucker said McCain, since last year's election, "has bowed to the harsh nihilism that seems to be all that Republicans represent these days," but said "McCain's reputation for a principled bipartisanship was intact" last year.

I guess I was watching a different presidential campaign last year. As I recall, McCain spent the year lying, flip-flopping, running cheap and ugly ads, and choosing a crazy person as his running mate.


As for the comparison itself, Kennedy was among the most accomplished lawmakers in the history of the United States Senate. McCain has an impressive personal background, but very few accomplishments to his name. Kennedy was principled, brilliant, and knowledgeable. McCain is inconsistent, easily confused, and has no patience for details. Kennedy was widely admired and respected by those who worked with him. McCain is known for screaming at his colleagues, even Republicans, who dare to disagree with him.

We knew Ted Kennedy. Ted Kennedy was a friend of ours. John McCain is no Ted Kennedy.


I can't decide which of the people highlighted is the bigger fucktard. Nominate your favorite in comment. The winner gets an extra-special session with the Smack-0-Matic.

At least that gives us something to look forward to...

1 comment:

stevec said...