19 August, 2009

Smell BAD!

Those of you who have seen Labyrinth will recall Ludo's comment upon experiencing the Bog of Eternal Stench for the first time. That scene has been on an endless loop in my poor mind lately.

The Stench has defeated me. Even a waterproof cover is not enough to contain it. My new memory foam mattress topper is back out in the dining room under a coating of Arm & Hammer Carpet & Room Deodorizer in a desperate attempt to neutralize it, and we're back to sleeping on feathers.

At least my doubts about the difference the topper makes have been allayed. When I woke up with my bronchial tubes on fire and hacking up a lung this morning, I started seriously wondering if I should continue combating The Stench. A couple of hours back on the feather mattress assured me it's a worthy endeavor. It's not even a competition. I almost told my bronchial tubes to go fuck themselves. It's not just my back that pines for the topper - I've got a wee bit o' the restless leg syndrome, and it has returned with a vengeance.

Fortunately for both, even in a worst case scenario, the Stench should only linger a week or few at most. Then we shall have luxury without bronchial trauma, and life shall be idyllic indeed.


george.w said...

Your mattress is outgassing some very nasty chemicals. Do you have a friend who could store it in their garage for a month to get past that?

Nicole said...

Aw...now I want to watch The Labyrinth.