11 December, 2009

Happy Hour Discurso

Today's opining on the public discourse.

Cons are amazing.  They really are.  They've got batshit fucking insane, they've become a laughingstock, and they've swung so far to the right I don't think they can see the center on a clear day with a telescope, and they still think they're not "conservative" enough:

And yet, there are still some Republican officials who are outraged by their party's moderation.
Conservative Sen. Jim DeMint (R-S.C.) on Wednesday called out the leadership of the Republican Party for straying too far from conservative principles.
DeMint, in an interview with the Christian Broadcast Network, also said that he is trying to recruit a new crop of GOP lawmakers to challenge the party establishment.
"The problem in the Republican Party is that the leadership has gone to the left," he said. "I need some new Republicans."
DeMint's comments coincide with Rush Limbaugh lashing out at Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) for -- I hope you're sitting down -- the lack of obstructionism among Senate Republicans.

The lack of obstructionism.  Extraordinary.  Short of an armed resistance, I'm not sure how much more obstructive they can get. I suppose that's on DeMint's mind.  If he shows up on Capitol Hill with an armed army of angry Teabaggers, don't be surprised.  He does, after all, want his party to embrace their crazy Teabag contingent with open arms:
In an interview with National Review today, DeMint said that the tea parties should no longer be thought of as “separate” from the Republican Party:
“The GOP leadership needs to stand up for mainstream American principles,” says DeMint. The best way to do that, he says, is to “look to the great candidates we can support like Marco Rubio, Pat Toomey, Chuck DeVore, and now Michael Williams. They’re exciting, principled candidates who have all stood up to the Republican party.”
“We need to stop looking at the tea parties as separate from the Republican party,” adds DeMint. “If we do that, we can stand up and create the biggest tent of all.”
Would that be the Big Top?  Are you aiming for a one-ring circus or three, there, Jim?

And was that Rep. Wittman saying he thinks calls for a revolution are a "good point"?  Wow.  They really have gone right round the bend, haven't they just?

Oh, and they're on about the sky falling again:

Standing in front of the Supreme Court this morning, a group of Republican lawmakers railed against the court system run out of the building behind them. A sign affixed to the plexiglas podium each spoke at in turn spelled out the reason for their concern. "Protect our homeland," it read. "Keep terrorists out of America."

The justice system laid out in the Constitution, they said, is just too weak to protect American citizens from wiley terror suspects. From "activist judges" to courtroom sketch artists, the group reeled off a list of reasons the Obama administration decision to bring Guantanamo Bay detainees to the U.S. for trial could quite possibly end in, as Rep. Trent Franks (R-AZ) suggested, a nuclear attack on the United States.

They really don't think very much of hallowed American institutions, do they?  For a party that likes to pretend they're Great American Patriots, they sure do love to shit on the Constitution, the rule of law, the military, and just about everything else that they come within shitting distance of.  Remarkable.

But don't expect them to get on the Pentagon's case for having contractors evaluate their own projects, unless Democrats start praising them for the practice.  Free enterprise, doncherknow.  And that's a hallowed tradition that can never be questioned unless Dems like it.

One of the best moments of today:
Rep. Alan Grayson (D-Fla.) appeared on MSNBC's "Hardball" last night, and Chris Matthews asked the freshman lawmaker to comment on Dick Cheney's suggestion that President Obama might be guilty of giving "aid and comfort" to the enemy.
"You know, on the Internet there's an acronym that's used to apply to situations like this," Grayson said. "It's called 'STFU.' I don't think I can say that on the air, but I think you know what that means."
This, I think, is the only proper response to Cons these days.  We'll go back to having actual conversations when they've learned how to converse like grown-ups.

Speaking of teaching folks to converse like grown-ups, looks like we finally cracked Rick Warren.  Let's see if we can shatter the man.  I do so love watching him choke on doing the right thing.

The oil lobby has an interesting way of celebrating diversity:

In August, The Wonk Room’s Brad Johnson noted that the coal industry had contracted a PR firm to promote its “FACES of Coal” campaign. To attack clean energy reform, the campaign featured pictures of seemingly normal individuals opposed to cap and trade legislation. However, the Appalachian Voices’ Front Porch blog revealed that the “FACES” of the coal campaign were actually stock images purchased from iStockPhotos.com.

The oil industry, under the umbrella lobbying group American Petroleum Institute (API), is copying that strategy. In a newly-released pamphlet, API fear-mongers that “hard working Americans,” like ordinary “valets,” “painters,” “day care providers,” and “rocket scientists,” will lose their job and be “hurt” by clean energy reform. To show the great diversity of those affected by the legislation, API decided to buy a stock image also from iStockPhoto.com. Apparently, the stock image was insufficient for API’s purposes. Upon close examination, it’s clear API photoshopped two of the people to turn them into minorities. One of the minorities, the individual on the left, is poorly photoshopped though — his face is brown, yet his hands are still white...
Talk about your epic fail.  I guess they're too busy fabricating supporting memos and blowing smoke up folks' asses to get some actual supporters of pollution together for a photoshoot.  And they might have a tough time scraping together minorities for exploitation, there.  They should, however, consider spending some of their millions on people who actually know how to use Photoshop.

And, finally, today's installment in the sordid saga of Rod "Green Balloons" Jetton.  Looks like his sexual misadventures were quite a bit more felonious than we first suspected. 

I wish I had something pithy to say in summation, but alas, I do not.  I think my brain's melted from far too much burning stupidity.


Efrique said...

they've swung so far to the right I don't think they can see the center on a clear day with a telescope, and they still think they're not "conservative" enough.

Being their kind of conservative is like prayer. If something goes wrong, do what you did before and pray. If it gets worse, pray harder. No matter how bad it gets, if it keeps getting worse, the only thing wrong is you're not praying hard enough...

Efrique said...

Rep. Wittman saying he thinks calls for a revolution are a "good point".

Funny thing is, if a nonconservative even has associated with - has at some point spoken with someone who advocates anything that so much as smells like revolution, that person is tarred by the association. Forever.

But, if you're a republican, you can chatter on about revolution like you were talking about buying tea-cakes.

IOKIYAR? yeah, right.