30 March, 2010

Dumbfuckery du Jour

Desperate times call for desperate measures, as we all know.  And Cons are desperate.  They lost the health care reform battle.  The nutjobs they've whipped into a frenzy are making them look worse.  The "bu-bu-but we get a few death threats too!" defense isn't really working out too well.  So what's a Con to do?

Why, whine, lie, and play the victim, of course!

You see, health care reform is racist:

The recently passed health care reform act includes a 10 percent tax on indoor tanning salons to help pay for expanded insurance coverage for millions of Americans. Radio host Doc Thompson, subbing in for Fox News host Glenn Beck on his radio show today, used the tax to make the absurd accusation that the health bill is somehow “racist”:
For years I’ve suggested that racism was in decline and yeah, there are some, you know, incidents that still happen with regards to racism, but most of the claims I’ve said for years, well, they’re not really real. But I realize now that I was wrong. For I now too feel the pain of racism. Racism has been dropped at my front door and the front door of all lighter-skinned Americans. The health care bill the president just singed into law includes a 10 percent tax on all indoor tanning sessions starting July 1st, and I say, who uses tanning? Is it dark-skinned people? I don’t think so. I would guess that most tanning sessions are from light-skinned Americans. Why would the President of the United Stats of America — a man who says he understands racism, a man who has been confronted with racism — why would he sign such a racist law? Why would he agree to do that? Well now I feel the pain of racism.
Oh, the horror!  Oh, the sting!  Oh, the humanity!  I mean, there's really nothing worse than being forced to pay a 10% tax on a tanning session.  Forget lynching, beatings, denial of services, denial of opportunity, being singled out for police brutality and pulled over for the crime of being black in the wrong neighborhood, forget unequal treatment in courts, running gauntlets of rabid racists, and all that other stuff like increased risk of being murdered, dying of treatable disease, etc. etc. that one may suffer by dint of non-white skin pigmentation.  None of that compares to the pain of a 10% tax on tanning sessions.

I mean, honestly, people, that's like $5 - $6 per month if you sign up for an unlimited package!  Can't you understand how awful that is?


Well, it's like totally the only racism currently going on in America.  I mean, all those stories you heard about how Congressmen voting for the health care reform bill got racial epithets thrown at them - that's like total lies and stuff.  I know cuz Michele Bachmann sed so:
Oh, Michele Bachmann, is there anything you won't say out loud?
Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) told a crowd at a Duluth, Minn., rally over the weekend that there is no evidence that several black lawmakers were harassed by conservative protesters on Capitol Hill in the days leading up to the health care reform vote.
Black lawmakers, including civil rights icon Rep. John Lewis (D-Ga.), reported that they had been spat on and slurred by protesters demonstrating against the health reform bill last week.
"Democrats said that they were called the 'N word,' which of course would be wrong and inappropriate. But no one has any record of it. No witness saw it, it's not on camera, it's not on audio," she said. "They said that they were spat upon. No one saw it."
She went on, "There's a $10,000 reward right now for anyone who can produce a video or an audio. Don't you think we would have seen a video or an audio by now if there was something out there?"
I see. So, Michele Bachmann would have us believe that John Lewis is a liar. John Lewis, who has demonstrated more integrity, honesty, and courage in his career than Bachmann's limited intellect can even fathom, is deserving of mistrust, because he heard racial slurs and talked about it. Got it.
Nevermind the point-for-point debunking Steve Benen did in that piece, even qualifying himself for the $10,000 reward.  None of that's true because Cons don't wanna believe it, therefore, all evidence to the contrary, it's not true!!1!11!

[insert fingers in ears, stomp feet, scream loudly]

Aren't they precious?

And in news of further precious people, my own great state of Washington has a total fuckwit for an AG.  Just thought I'd get that on the record.

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