06 March, 2010

Why Keanu Reeves?


I'm watching Dracula.  And you know something?  It would've been a far, far better movie without Keanu Reeves.  Acting so wooden you could've saved a forest by using it for toilet paper manufacture.  An English accent so atrocious they should've dubbed a seven year-old Doctor Who fan from Brooklyn over his voice - it would've been more believable.  He's not even that attractive, and I say that as a woman who usually goes for the dark-haired skinny geeks.

The movie's only redemption lies in other outstanding cast members - Anthony Hopkins, Gary Oldman, Sadie Frost.  Even Winona Rider didn't suck.

That's why I watch this travesty.  Well, that and because it's good mindless fun.  A well-balanced diet must include a serving of premium cheese every once in a while.  And, truth be told, I watch it for Sadie Frost in that red dress.

It sure as shit ain't for Keanu.  And that leads me to my question: why the fuck do so many directors ruin their movies by casting him?  I've never been able to find a satisfactory answer.