04 August, 2010

Dumbfuckery du Jour

If John McCain's thoughts were a swimming pool, we'd have difficulty getting the soles of our feet damp:
McCain co-hosted an event on the Hill this morning, giving the senator a platform to complain about the Recovery Act again. One of the questions from reporters, however, was whether McCain agreed with his Republican colleagues' concerns about the 14th Amendment. He dodged the question and ended the press conference.

Some reporters, including Brian Beutler, followed him, pressing him to state a position. "Do you support the Minority Leader's push for hearings into the repeal of birthright citizenship?" Brian asked.
"Sure, why not?" McCain said briefly. 
This appears to be the extent of the consideration he's given to the idea of amending our Constitution to strip birthright citizenship from our future citizens.  This would be pathetic from any pol, but from the Putz Who Would Be Prez, it's so fucking pathetic I don't think we have an appropriate word in the English language.  When you add to that his inability to determine which stimulus projects were useful, which weren't, and which projects weren't even part of the stimulus, all I can say is you have a man whose photo would illustrate the word "dumbfuck" very handsomely indeed.

Now 'tis time for a dumbfuck follow-up.  Regular readers know that the "ZOMG SKEERY MOOSLIMS R COMIN TO ENDAWKTRINATE R CHILDRUNS!!1!!1!" crowd planned a protest against a new mosque in Temecula, CA.  Their brilliant ideas: sing songs because Islamic women can't sing, and bring dogs because all Muslims hate dogs.  The big event has come and gone.  So how'd it go?  As my best friend would say in his best Southern accent,  "Nawt too guud!"
Here's how it all turned out: the anti-mosque protesters were outnumbered by pro-mosque supporters, the local tea party disavowed the protest and called it hate speech, the protester we talked to dropped off the face of the earth and only one dog made it to the planned protest.
Something tells me this current anti-Muslim crusade will work out about as well as all the anti-Japanese furor did in the late 90s.  Actually, probably worse: the folks who freaked over those damned Nips coming to take all our jobs and own America were fucking idiots, but amateur idiots compared to these professional fucktards, and thus their fail fails to measure up to the major-league fail of today's frothing fuckwit failures.

And finally, addressing a whole different level of mega-fail, Sen. John Ensign, whom we last encountered having his parents try to pay off his mistress's husband and discovering himself under investigation by the FBI for his epic fucking fail (ye gods, I slay me sometimes), is now expecting us to see his legal defense as a worthy political cause:

Roll Call reports today that Sen. John Ensign has registered his legal defense fund as a 527 political organization.

A 527 is tax-exempt, but Ensign must report contributions to the IRS.

As Roll Call notes, it's an unusual move:
Campaign finance experts called the decision unusual and possibly unprecedented, noting that Members of Congress do not typically register legal expense accounts in such a dual fashion. 
"I guess he somehow considers the use of these legal fees, these contributions, to be political, and while they're related to political charges, typically those defense funds are not set up as 527s," said Ken Gross, a campaign finance attorney at Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher and Flom.
I guess Mommy and Daddy's pockets are only so deep.  Myself, I'm just wondering how much it would cost his little 527 to process penny donations, because I could amuse myself immensely flicking copper coinage at them, one cent at a time.  They'd make such a nice gloopy sound sinking into his sleaze, but it wouldn't be worth it if he earned a profit from my entertainment.

Now if you'll excuse me, coming even this close to Ensign has given me the urge to take a bath in industrial-strength bleach.

1 comment:

Woozle said...

Hypothesis: McCain is a tool; his jub is to support GOP initiatives regardless of what he might think of them, and he knows it.

Test for hypothesis: A reporter should ask McCain "Do you support the Minority Leader's push for [insert Democratic agenda item here]?", and see what he says.

Not that we have any reporters willing to do anything so scientific.